Paunchy Like a Panda

That's the amusingly snarky comment that Ricky Gervais roasted Duran Duran with on an interview show. "Hungry like the wolf? You're all middle aged! Shouldn't it be more like paunchy likea panda?" And a recent YouTube cellphone video of them would not predispose me to disagree, sadly. Check out this live version of Skin Divers recorded in Vegas this month.

However, that's not to say I don't still like their music (surprisingly) or that they aren't hardworking pros: I mean, they're still touring and putting out music almost 25 years after I first saw them (eeek! has it been that long since high school?!) and they still pick the hot producers du jour (Timbaland and Mr. Timberlake [ ! ] worked on their newest CD, Red Carpet Massacre.) By the way, Mr. Le Bon, Mr. Rhodes, and the 2 surviving Taylors look exactly like you'd think -- hee! Click on the CD link to their homepage and you'll see what I mean.

I am reminded of this since tonight I will be going to see them in concert with Jane & Jen @ Central Park's Rumsey Playfield. Um....did I mention it was pouring this morning? And that the concert is rain or shine? Eeek! Oh, and that seating is general admission. Sigh. On the bright side, synthetics last forever: I still have the tour jersey I bought in 1984 (and it fits!) and hey, it's Duran Duran (i.e., big, fluffy fun).

Yes, the weather is currently THIS sunny:

Somehow, I think that my 5 year ARM will adjust before they finish this hot mess of a traffic circle. Bear in mind that they broke ground the week BEFORE I moved in to the condo. Oy. That statue of Frederick Douglass had damn well better be fantastic, since both foundries selected for the statue went bankrupt, resulting in 2 series of delays (i.e., search process, selection, RFP, bid, decision -- rinse, lather, repeat).

On to more cheerful topics: my niece finally had her second child yesterday! Nicholas Charles Crik*****(a/k/a Nickie Crik, as he has already been nicknamed by his parents) joined the world yesterday @ "8:31am, 8 lbs 11 oz, 21 1/2 inches long, full head of hair and a very chill disposition." (My older niece is sometimes hilarious.)

Terry (a/k/a Daddy-o) already sent me a photo on my cellphone which I will spare everyone since, let's face it, all newborn babies look wrinkly and related to space aliens, even if they are relatives whom you (will) love. (Nick does have quite the mop of very dark hair though.) Andrea (a/k/a my older niece, the mom) has also been e-mailing me with her CrackBerry -- ah, the wonders of modern technology.

Speaking of which, this is the picture I attempted to send some of my friends yesterday announcing the happy event. The Gund Company (or whatever they're called) does make really adorable plushies, no? Sometimes old school ishas a lot going for it.

So I'd better get cracking on finishing Nicky's cardie. So far I've done the back and both front panels (knit in the round) and have started one sleeve. So I have 1.8 sleeves left to go, and the collar. (I wonder how Thomas is dealing with the advent of his new baby brother...)

And now, some knitting while watching Shaun of the Dead for the umpteenth time on Comedy Central before I set off for dinner & Duran. Zombies can be fun(ny)! (I'm saving the rest of The Andromeda Strain on Tivo for later. Maybe tomorrow. When it might be sunny...Signed, Chicken Little.

75 blocks & a raccoon

That was my evening. There's nothing like seeing yourself in summer shorts -- especially in the lovely fluorescent glow of a store's fitting room -- to remind me WHY exercise is my friend.

So tonight, I walked the equivalent of 75 blocks (hey, it was a beautiful night!) with a solo dinner @ Dallas BBQ sandwiched in the middle (I was trying to be good, but sainthood is beyond me, sorry).

Speaking of sainthood, that reminds me of something I found in HK: Hellman's Extra Light Mayonnaise, "saintly mayonnaise with 5% fat" according to the text in the purple part of the label.

It actually wasn't bad, and in fact, was a bit better than the various light Hellmann's flavors here. Oh well.

In any case, I walked from 14th - 23rd (had dinner), 23rd - 42nd (got on the bus because Times Square is insanely annoying), and then 61st - 110th. I figure that's about 75 blocks, and somewhere in the 90s, I came across a raccoon who was scavenging in the garbage can.

At first I thought it was just a really bold, fat, cat but then I saw it up close and personal (not TOO close). We stared at each other for a few minutes, out of curiosity (my side) and the hope for a free handout (guess).

Oh yes, I'll be sleeping well tonight, especially since I stopped watching the rest of the A&E remake of THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN, which is surprisingly scary, despite the 5,000 commercials which I didn't FFWD past, since I was, well, scared. (Yes, I'm a wuss.) They actually have good actors like Andre Braugher, and everyone underplays things, unlike in days of yore.

Less is more, in scifi and horror. Well, unless it's a zombie movie. Then lots of screaming is de rigeur.

Speaking of fun discoveries, these last 3 pieces from the winter semester came out of the kiln.

The square one came about because I threw a bowl on the wheel and it turned out to be lopsided (oops). So I paddled it! (heh) I don't like the dark green color on the bottom of the outside, but that's okay: my youngest niece likes the bowl, so I'm giving it to her.

And I really like the creamy brown one: it's thin and light and I apparently do have a consistent fondness for certain palettes. I think I'll even KEEP that one instead of giving it to my mom (usually, she gets the best ones -- I keep the rest).

The blue one is a mixture of French Blue and Gloss White where the applying white on top actually had the odd effect of darkening the blue.

The pillow was something I saw in a store window Wednesday night and thought was apropos for so many reasons....especially after giving the boot to yet another insecure guy this evening. Jesus.

These idiots remind me of me BEFORE the years of therapy: it's not all about YOU, okay? Maybe that's why they annoy the crap out of me. Either that, or I just have much less time and patience for idiots as I get older.

I [heart] David Patterson

Not only is he NOT Eliot Spitzer, but he is directing NYS to recognize gay weddings from other jurisdictions: New York to Back Same-Sex Unions From Elsewhere

Another reason to the add to 50 listed by Frommer's Budget Travel: 50 Reasons You Love New York City

And then there's the annual HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival (#52) not to mention (this lazy person's favorite) the free summer Sunday concerts at Harlem Meer (#53)

In late August there's also the (free!) Charlie Parker Jazz Festival (#54)

More reasons to be cheerful:

I bought 2 pairs of shorts, a skirt, and 2 t-shirts @ Ann Taylor Loft tonight for a grand total of $103! Woohoo! Things that fit me (although Loft's sizing is whacked: I wear a SIZE 6 now?!) AND that are on sale! Hooray!

Nice, NORMAL, fun guy from last week asked for a second date -- yay!

Whackjob chick in HK has ticked off yet MORE people. Quoth a senior manager who everyone likes, "She's made you [me] look good, and herself look bad." Yeah, I can be vindictive upon occasion. HA!

Ode to Margaret

I am really tired (despite a 4 hour nap just now on The Green Monster), and each of these photos (taken by my trusty, scratched up, Motorola E815 cellphone) made me think of our relocated friend, so today's post will be more like a photo essay.


I did not say we ate anything here -- I merely point out that this made me immediately think of my friend (and also of scheduling a potential time to revisit the shop and try 'em here).








Jing Fong's new chafing-dish-like grill station.










Things to randomly run into while in NYC: there was a international Falun Gong parade (they have members in Ecuador?!) on Mott Street right past Munchies Paradise which went on and on and on, which we discovered later marched up the Lower East Side past Rivington Street.







My favorite moment (which unfortunately, I couldn't capture on "film" was when the tall Rastafarian crossed Grand Street through the crowd of Chinese Falun Gong marchers (as opposed to the blond, Belgian, Falun Gong members). Only in New Yawk folks, only in New Yawk.








And after a strafing-run visit to Orchard Corset, when LQ, M & I engaged in speed shopping with the entertaining and highly efficient proprietors (10 purchases fitted and paid for within 15 minutes), our poor guy friend Sam fled and discovered Spitzer's Corner around the corner (named after a defunct former dressmaker's shop there, and not THAT Man), which had 40 beers on tap, and 40 more bottled brands.






Their menu looked tasty (more scheming for future visits -- note to self: corner of Ludlow & Rivington) including the pricelessly titled Duck Fat Potato Cake. Everyone else had various beers. I had a glass of Prosecco. And we lounged out and schmoozed for an hour or so, both amongst ourselves, and chatting with the very pleasant bartender as we asked what she did with the endlessly accumulating pile of extra beer pull levers.







Arrogant Bastard -- no longer just an epithet for that annoying guy you meet on really bad first dates









Some tres amusing piggy banks @ Economy Candy, where I bought some white chocolate pastilles, a dark chocolate-covered Oreo, and a small baggie of dark chocolate M&Ms. This was after the white sugar rice cakes from Lung Moon Bakery, which was before Spitzer's Corner. G*d alone knows how many WW points I ate today, 'cos I certainly don't.

Click on the photo to truly appreciate the snarky, funny captions.





Dinner was at the sadly soon-to-close Florent, oh yummmmmm... You can buy memorabilia from the restaurant (like the framed Babar and Xanadu (Flo-adu) posters on their wall) on eBay, proceeds to go to the soon-to-be unemployed staff workers' fund.








What I did with the leftover fabric from my bridesmaid gown: create a drawstring bag for toting around my current knitting project. LQ (a/k/a the other bridesmaid) was entirely amused, and even my mom liked it.

No.1 with a bullet

Calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean... must remain calm. Maybe if I stare at this photo of the Harlem Meer in Central Park long enough (which I took with my cellphone last weekend) it will help generate a feeling of tranquility. Or perhaps the photo of our building's courtyard (below), which I took with my cellphone early this month... I am also listening to a mellow, and delightfully snarky CD, Welcome to The Beautiful South.

Why the need for smoothing out, you ask? Well, I just got an e-mail from my no-longer-future boss saying that the no-longer-future colleague in HK felt "blindsided" by my report (hence, her upset & broadcast flame-mail). Now if there is something guaranteed to completely piss me the f*ck off, it is when someone does not listen to what I say -- I don't mean agree, or obey -- I just mean HEAR the words that are issuing from my mouth.

Everything in the report that "blindsided" her was something that I had SAID TO HER FACE while I was in HK.

I rest my case.

So as I ponder redirecting the bullet (in a figurative, not literal sense -- heaven forbid I put out a Hilary-RFK comment) that I dodged, it helps me to realize that I am here, in my (admittedly terrifyingly messy) home and not required to move over to crazyworld in HK. As they say, living well is the best revenge. (Not that I am taking revenge, but I think you all see what I am saying here.) And oh yeah, I told erstwhile boss exactly why I was so ticked off, and that I was tired of everyone telling me that I should apologize to HER. (Breathing deeply, calm blue ocean.... breathe girl, breathe...)

Okay, on to more cheerful topics, like NPR, which has apparently become the source of my various musical and book "to do" lists. Thanks to them, I am reading The Geography of Bliss and also In Defense of Food (more cultural history than self-help book -- thanks, Sam!), have bought The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama for my brother-in-law for Father's Day -- oh, and a copy for me too! (more a nuts & bolts biography with humorous incidents from a person who's known him for many years than hagiography), and am contemplating buying Rare Child by Danielia Cotton (damn, that woman can SING -- plus she lists Etta James as an influence --> neat!).

More reasons for cheerfulness: a yum-yum-yummity dinner we had tonight @ Mandoo Bar (that blog, BTW, has priceless photos) as part of Laurafest 2008, Part 1, when we called to torture our relocated friend in Seattle (hi there!). I had pan-fried pork mandoo & fried tofu with an unknown spicy Korean sauce (damn, my mouth is watering just thinking about it all...) while various other folks had the kimchee mandoo, more fried pork mandoo, and 2 orders of bibimbop.

We washed this all down with some booze @ Tir Na Nog (what can I say? it was convenient to where we all had to go) and then most of us walked up to Columbus Circle, since the 8th Avenue subways were doing their customary schizophrenic rerouting thing on the (holiday) weekend.

Tomorrow (okay, today, at this point) Laurafest continues with a trip to Jing Fong for dim sum, and then a commemorative dinner @ Florent, before it kicks the bucket in June (their rent has increased about 2,000% since they opened, according to my undoubtedly poor math).

Dodged A Bullet

Yes indeed, I dodged a bullet b/c the woman I would have been working with in HK is so not my cup of jasmine tea. Just plain inappropriate & inconsistent. Never mind that she was wondering if I'd move there permanently after all "if my mother were to die during the first year of transfer" (I mean, HOW can you explain it to someone if they just DON'T GET why this would be a comment that would piss me off?) but then, once I am back in NYC, she also turns around and does exactly the opposite of what we had agreed to while I was in HK!

(Oh, have I mentioned previously that she called me at midnight Eastern time to tell me this? And yes, she knows the time difference. And no, she didn't understand why I was less than pleased to receive a call at that hour.)

So this week I had the final post-mortem meeting with my boss' boss' boss' as to why I declined their offer. The answers boiled down to (a) responsibility w/o authority = short trip a long stay @ a sanitarium, and (b) my mom was freaking out about my being away: she counted down the number of days left before my return during every phone call (which is odd, because she was not this anxious when I went to mainland China for a month in 2006). It made me feel like a space shuttle astronaut on the launchpad in Houston: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... you're back!

A good thing I had that meeting with L** because the next day, HK lady flipped out after reading my (very neutral, non-fingerpointing, pre-vetted by her boss & mine) trip report. Not only did she highlight various vitriolic comments in red, but then she cc'ed people up the food chain to the Asst. to the Chmn. of Asia (some of whome had never even seen said report to begin with), all the while calling people names. In writing. I didn't even have to reply because she basically came off as completely unprofessional, somewhat deranged, and pretty much managed to piss everyone off. (Notice a trend with her?)That doesn't mean, however, that I can't appreciate the beautiful scenery of Hong Kong, such as the photo up at the top of this post (sorry about the double negative there). It was taken on Lamma Island, which is also part of HK, and this particular shot overlooks the SW coast of HK Island, the "HQ" of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region (SAR).

And there's the bauhinia flower just above, which is the official flower of the SAR, and used in their government inisgnia.

And I've also realized that I can go back to HK... as a pure vacation (!!!) using the frequent flier miles I've earned over the years, enough for business class. Hell, I never even made it to Macau, dammit! I imagine that it'd be a whole different experience to go there: Just. For. Fun.

Speaking of fun, last night's first date was fun indeed: we met for drinks @ Tir Na Nog,* [hi, Margaret!] which is near his office, and finally left when we realized it was 10:30pm. (Whoops!) While I don't know if I'll ever hear from this guy again, it was a fun evening (he's funny and smart and an engineer) and reminded me that there are indeed sane people out there in the dating world.

'Cos honestly, I'm just plain irritated by most of the guys out there. Either they are SO DAMN NEEDY that I understand why Greta Garbo became a recluse (another guy -- not Mr. Needy from last week -- sent me FIVE text messages in less than half an hour. I mean, WTF?!?!) or they have the conversational skills of a gnat ("Hi. How are you?" does not constitute a conversation, if that is your ENTIRE message!)

Perhaps I am just not ready to date again yet. Perhaps my 3 month estimate of when I would pull the plug was wildly overoptimistic. Perhaps I am just supercranky these days because I'm finally starting to deal with the fact that 2 of my best friends have moved away -- far, far away -- permanently. Perhaps I just need to meet someone sane!

My PoW said something tonight that made me crack up. Let's see if I can remember it... something along the lines of my not being comfortable with guys who need to have things spelled out (e.g., don't text message me 5 times in 30 minutes) because I am still not yet comfortable spelling things out without feeling guilty (e.g., I need some space, so back off).

And on that goofy note, I leave you all with a photo from the Causeway Bay area in HK. If the middle portion is a bit blurry (sorry) it's because I stitched 2 shots together and of course, the people have moved, the neons signs have changed, etc. etc.

* By the way, the Tir Na Nog page also has a run down on brewpubs in Manhattan & Brooklyn, for those of you into such beverages. Me, I had a half pint of cider on draft.

Vicarious thrills

I love shopping with OPM for OPY: my coworker D. asked me to buy some yarn for him (yes! I can fondle yarn without guilt OR adding to my stash!) since he wants to make himself a scarf. My mission (which I so decided to accept) was to buy some dark green and brown wool sufficient for a muffler, preferably in superwash. My budget (i.e., his money) a la Project Runway was $30. (He didn't have smaller bills.)

Plus, I wanted to check out Seaport Yarn's new digs -- yes, that's how stringently I was avoiding temptation: I didn't even know they had moved in February. Duh! (I'll have to post some photos for you folks who have moved away and left me. *sob* [heh])

So anyway, I couldn't find a nice dark, kelly/forest green in their stock of Encore, Galway, Lamb's Pride, etc. (don't worry -- they still have a gigantic selection: I just had a specific shade in mind) until the ever helpful Margaret Who's A Grandma (as opposed to my friend Margaret Who's A Newlywed) who works there suggested Aussi Wool, which is soft and a good value @ $7 for 200 yds. in worsted weight. Not superwash, but then D. is a member of the other team (i.e., he knows how to care for fabrics, neh?) so that was fine.

I bought a hank of chocolate (#23) and oak moss (#42) both of which I think are delicious. I partied with my ball-winder while watching my Tivo'd episode of the Dancing With The Stars finals.


Meanwhile, back on my own knitting frontier, I am trundling along on future great-nephew #2's cardigan, using a bag of Filatura Lanarota Summer Soft yarn I inherited from my coworker Sally. Someone else posted their FO on their blog using the same type and color of yarn, so you can get the idea.



Here's a shot of my progress to date (started last Thursday) and boy, do I love the new Knitpicks wooden harmony needles, which I am severely tempted to complete the set.

Finally!

I finished the dang thing. It's for my coworker's son in Hong Kong. As you can see, I realized after I had sewn on the button the first time, but before I wrapped it up and shipped it off, that I had reversed the sides of the sweater. DOH!

After staring at the finished item (pre-button) I realized I just did not have the motivation to crochet around the edges, as the Berroco pattern describes. Oh well. It still looks nice.

But I was really pleased with the button I had in my stash from Mom's gigantic drawer of notions. It's very organic-looking and goes well with the yarn colors and fibers (100% cotton). I have one more of them floating around in the button bottles.

And now, I should attempt to go to sleep...and NOT try to restore the contents of my lobotomized Palm Pilot: I had to reformat the whole thing today because the screen locked and would not work no matter how many times I rebooted it. Evidently, this problem is not unknown (*snort*) as the Palm site recommends a hard reset (i.e., reformatting) if all else fails.

No translation needed

Okay, so one of the things I've been wondering after my HK debacle is whether I really DO like to travel, since I did after all put it as part of my various dating (boy am I starting to dislike that word) profiles. My main memories of HK do seem to consist of being frustrated, tired, unable to communicate, and lost. (Come to think of it, there's probably a reason why mom mom never was fond of southern Chinese folk, and mutual incomprehension is hardly likely to generate warm feelings on either side.) But looking at my friend's honeymoon photos from Italy convinced me (as if I needed further evidence) that I am thoroughly Western in my outlook and mentality since I felt much more "at home" looking at those shots than when I look at photos of China, HK, or Taiwan. (It also makes me want to revisit Italy, but that's a dream for another day -- and another exchange rate.)

Part of what I suspect made the difference between my time in HK and my vacations in China -- or any other country -- is that during vacation, I generally had very little structured time (rigidly scheduling multiple activities in an unfamiliar country where you don't speak the language is just a recipe for stress, in my view). So on vacation, it didn't matter if I got lost, or spent a while prowling through back streets (one of my favorite pastimes in Prague and Ireland), whereas if I was late in HK (usually because I was LOST) then I knew someone was waiting for me at the office, or at a meeting, or for dinner, etc. That puts a whole new spin on things.

It's sort of like the difference between an episode of The Amazing Race and an episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, or between travelling with Veronica Lodge vs. Jughead. (By the way, I've always wondered what it's like to try to wrangle the incorrigible Mr. Bourdain for location shooting, and his director's blog entry, The One Thing You Don't Do, is hilariously enlightening.)

All of these ideas made me think of the importance of signage. Miami International Airport, for instance, has the WORST SIGNAGE EVER.

To demonstrate what I mean, imagine a normal street sign. Got it? Okay, now BEND that sign into a semicircle. With me so far? And NOW, put arrows on that street sign telling you where gate 52 is. Does that arrow actually point to the right? Or do they mean straight ahead? And who the f*ck thought curved directional signs was a good idea anyway?!

Have you EVER seen curved streets signs? I mean do THESE signs curve?? Granted, these signs are already a bit mind-boggling. Heh.

(By the way, you can click on any photo in my blog -- and probably anyone else's on blogspot.com -- and they will enlarge in a pop-up window.)

And the middle icon in the beach warning sign below from Cheung Chau really needs no captioning, does it? (You can read the bilingual explanations if you want to though.

Footnote re: Cheung Chau --
even though the signs were (relatively) straightforward, and there were many "You are HERE" maps everywhere, my companions and I still became hopelessly lost.

For example, this tourist map from a local resort -- as with many tourist maps -- is pretty useless: pretty, but useless. Whereas this hiking map seems more useful, but still left us lost.

(Additional sub-digression:
That is why the annual Hong Kong Directory is sold all over the city, and is about as big as the entire Rough Guide or Lonely Planet book for Hong Kong & Macau. The heavy guns are brought out for THAT resource, with maps which look like this and building name indexes, etc. ...but it usually still left me lost, as streets changed names and directions without warning, due to the terrain. I only wish I had bought the Hong Kong Public Transport Atlas early in my stay, to help save me from unexpected tours of HK while on a bus!)

But back to Cheung Chau (in case you forgot the original point of this rant) --
This confusion resulted in my locally-born & raised companions having many Cantonese conversations in which I did not participate. (Have mentioned that wandering around lost really sucks if you don't speak the local language? I did? Oh well. Just thought I'd mention it again.)

Of course there are some some which are supremely succinct (even lifelike!), and I will end today's post on that note.

Deja vu

I'd forgotten how many nutjobs are out there in the dating world. Yeesh.

Well, at least there's one less loony in my personal orbit, as I gave Mr. Needy his walking papers. The man sent me 14 text messages in less than 5 days! I counted because I had to delete them all since my inbox was full. I mean, for f*ck's sake, we never even met and he's already pestering me if I don't reply RIGHT AWAY.

Yes, 3 months is definitely going to be my limit, if not sooner.

Actually, I'm discovering that I really need my space. Jeez. (Some would argue that I'm just really not that into these guys, and that's why they all become faintly annoying.) I thought it was supposed to be us middle aged women who try too hard, not the men! (Yes, they are all starting to irritate me.) Granted it could just be that I don't really want to be involved yet, or at least not seriously involved, so any whiff of overeagerness is off-putting. (Plus the thought of anyone seeing my pigsty of an apartment -- far off as that prospect is -- is also off-putting ...to them!)

I used to joke with one of my friends when she was dating that I refused to try to remember her dates' names and occupations until at least the third date, but I suppose that I can't really do that with my OWN dates..drat. Another friend suggested that I draw up a grid with identifying details as a cheatsheet for my phone calls. Tempting. Oh so tempting.

On to more cheerful subjects -- like previously successful pottery.

As I may have mentioned previously, I knew that I had finally improved when my mom would immediately accept any bowls I gave her and go off to find lids, instead of wondering why "I wasted time going to those stupid classes to those dumb bowls."

(My cousin P. and I once marveled at our moms' abilities to always, ALWAYS have a plastic lid which fit their bowls. When I commented on this to mom, she said she and my other "aunties" used to all trade lids! HA! Sort of like a thrifty variation on Tupperware parties, I suppose.)

Anyway, I have finally figured out my future Mother's Day, birthday, and Xmas presents for mom. Eureka! The one above is what I gave her for Mother's Day this year. I particularly like the glazing on the foot (bottom) of the bowl, as it was my first attempt at that.

Even though I was hoping that the tenmoku would turn out like this vase (which I gave to my friend K's parents), I still like the end result of the new bowl.

The conical bowl on the right went off to live with my ex since I had given it to him early on, but I forgot to take a photo of the vase I gave to my youngest niece. Ah well.

And tomorrow (Saturday), I plan on spending my entire afternoon in the studio, reacquainting myself with the wheel, and glazing a few things I didn't have a chance to do before I left for HK.

Back and forth

So last night I went back to the studio for the first time in 2 months. Boy, did I suck. I did not make a single thing worth firing. In fact, I didn't even manage to throw anything that didn't go flying off into strange contorted shapes (and subsequently, back into the recycle bucket).

Luckily, I did find some completed pieces from the semester before I went to Hong Kong to salve my pride and remind me that I can actually do things right. And hey, I liked them!

By the way, I'd like to "give a special shout out the my peeps," they who enabled me to enroll for this semester! Thanks, gang!

And in other news, I have gotten to the e-mail/phone call stage with some gentlemen from That Site, one of whom I'm about to give the heave ho to. I don't understand how someone can go from "hmmm...potentially interesting and fun" to "ohmigod, he works my last nerve"...all before I even met him! How timely it is to get this newsletter (I subscribe to it for statistical charts) in my inbox this morning: Online Daters Find It Tough to Click

After some navelgazing with my trusty Pearl of Wisdom (PoW), I think I figured it out: he reminds me of the worst qualities in both myself and my mother -- quite an impressive feat, if you think about it. As PoW pointed out, my anger with him is somewhat disproportionate to his annoying qualities, and you know what they say about things in others which drive us most apesh*t... Now I just have to figure out a respectful way to tell him to GO AWAY!

I'm hoping that the next few guys will be somewhat more well-adjusted. Oy.

Nuts from the nuts

I will NEVER buy nuts from Trader Joe's again. Actually, I should probably not buy nuts again period, as I have ZERO willpower regarding them and have devoured them with only minor pauses for breathing. At 5 WW points per serving, I have eaten more than my entire day's allowance. Agh. Shoot me.

Also, I feel vaguely ill from eating THAT many. (Not that this will stop me from eating more...oh no. Chomp, chomp, chomp.) So the best course of action will be to simply keep them out of my home. Yep.

On to more positive news: I'm almost finished with the Berroco Cutie Patootie kimono baby sweater for my coworker in Hong Kong, she of the same first name. It's one of my favorites patterns, and I just need to seam it, and crochet the borders.

Bonus: Also got to use up my Katia oddballs on this project -- Cotton Club (from my disastrous Spain trip a few years ago) and Jamaica (from my curiosity during a pass through Yarntopia in my neighborhood).

So instead of surfing for RDJ music videos (yes, I am a sick puppy and need to find a REAL person to crush on... hmmmm.... maybe THAT'S why I'm eating endlessly... ) I should really be writing up my pre-emptive trip report for my Hong Kong jaunt, wherein I submit my recommendations for HK to hire 2 candidates and leave me out of it.

Yes, I will NOT be relocating (hoorah!) but I will be zipping back and forth to Asia once or twice a year for training trips, etc. instead. I find this an altogether more satisfactory solution for so many reasons (which I am willing to detail in a chatty phone call, but certainly not here).

Okay, must stop procrastinating, especially since I have to get up early to head downtown for Mom's Day festivities. Going to put on The Futurist (can't really concentrate on writing a report with Tivo blaring away) and listen to my favorite track, Broken, and a bunch of other stuff and crank out some blithering corporatese.

Decisions, decisions

So the classic debate returns: if I see someone's photo and am completely unattracted, should I just skip to the next person's profile? Or should I really, really try to keep an open mind and see what happens? I'm not saying for those who make me think, "Well, maybe..." but rather, "Uh....um, maybe he just doesn't photograph well ...?" (Have I just answered my own question?)

I mean, there is a LOT to be said for a person's level or eloquence, humor, humility (I did decide to jettison Mr. "Catch of the Century" since he wasn't a fisherman), and intelligence. But there is also the "could I ever jump his bones?" factor to consider. Some of the former can definitely influence a lot of the latter, but by how much?

Agh. This is WORK, which is fine -- effort should be involved, showing that both sides really want a relationship -- but my secondguessing myself is driving me crazy. Plus, the system is so rigidly structured that I sometimes want to scream: must rate all 5 matches before you can proceed to stage 2, etc.

Good thing I signed up for only 3 months.

On to more cheerful topics, like Mr. Tea Master, on Cheung Chau.

He was very friendly and treated us to exquisitely brewed (expensive) tea while my purchases were being wrapped (dragonware porcelain tea set). It was heated to a precise 78 degrees Fahrenheit (which he says is the proper temperature for TRUE tea appreciation -- warm enough to bring out the flavor, cool enough not to scald your tongue). His driftwood table even has custom piping to ensure the correct temperature. There are also specialized tools (whose functions I've already forgotten) for preparing tea which I had never even seen before.

I mean, how could you NOT love a tea display like the one here? It looks like a set of precious magic herbs from a historical martial arts movie. And his store had an entire WALL of these packets -- this was just the store window facing the front porch area. He also had another wall of teas in giant tins (closer to the size of the commercial coffee urns seen in conference rooms), and 2 walls of teapots and tea sets, most with custom strainers built in -- Nifty!

Mother Nature

So THAT'S why I want to rub my eyeballs out and feel like scraping the inside of my throat with sandpaper: these maliciously blooming...green things all over Manhattan! These were just 2 itty bitty little side streets in Chelsea. Now multiply that by Central Park, which is where all of my windows face. A pleasant problem to have, except when it's allergy hell season. Ah, Mother Nature.

Apparently, I am allergic to nothing in Hong Kong (except possibly my job) but as soon as I stepped off the plane in Newark: itch, itch, itch, sneeze, sniffle. Attractive thought, no?


And in other news, I have forked over $$ to Chemistry-spawn-of-Match-dot-com and started the do-si-do of the dating dance. Agh. Shoot me now. Please.

The whole system on Chem, while seemingly more productive than e-hellmoney, is rather stressful: there are all of these quizzes, questionnaires, sliding scale measurements, etc. which must be answered/dealt with before one is allowed to go to the next step or ask for more matches. I feel like I'm on a damn job interview.

On the bright side, it does seem to at least weed out the wildly inappropriate guys. You know, the 55 year old, separated but not divorced, smoker who's ignored every criteria I put on my profile. It does feel like the complete antithesis of Mother Nature though. Here's hoping that it might at least minimize the first date angst. Once I finally pass through all of the other steps on the checklist in order to get there, that is.

Age appropriate

So I've discovered, or rather, rediscovered, that I find age appropriate people attractive. I once had a discussion with someone about 5 or 10 years younger than me, where we flipped through photos and each pointed to (what turned out to be) age appropriate guys as attractive. This weekend reminded me of that since I have now developed a dorky celeb crush on Robert Downey Jr. after seeing Iron Man (well, besides his snarky humor, his buff bod might have something to do with it too...call me shallow).

Hadn't realized he was a singer as well, and surprisingly good, from my YouTube surfing and various critics' reviews (the professionals, not the semi-stalker fans). Well, he DOES have the mileage to convincingly sing blues tunes, as well as the Elton John (!) music video he was released from prison (for one day) to shoot, I Want Love. So I ordered a used copy of his 2004 CD, The Futurist. My trusty Tivo also found me US Marshals last night on AMC (!) which, true to my action movie jones, I think I saw in the theaters originally.

It's a little startling to realize that the movie came out 10 years ago. Yikes! It also leaves me a bit bemused to watch Wesley Snipes and RDJ now and think of their colorful legal history since (oops), esp. since they have exchanged places in the Hollywood firmament: one is heading off to prison, while another is headlining a summer event movie which made US$100M (US$200M+ worldwide). Ain't life grand?

In any case, watching a much younger RDJ, I was struck by an assortment of odd realizations:

• with his floppy bangs in the movie, he looks disorientingly like Judd Nelson
• much too pretty then -- much more interesting looking now
• he looks so YOUNG -- was 30 really so long ago??

This is sort of related to my resigned decision to rejoin the dating fray. Now that it looks like I'll be here for at least the rest of the year, and I've started developing crushes hither and yon, I figure it's probably time. So I've tuned up my Yahoo profile, and filled out the Chemistry.com questionnaire (I despise e-harmony) although I haven't quite girded myself up to actually pay money to either service. I suspect 3 months will be the limit of my patience, so a 6-month plan would be pointless anyway.

Thanks to my bridesmaidly duties, and a hike through Cheung Chau, HK, I'm using these 2 snapshots for my profiles. Hooray for losing 40 lbs. -- I no longer fear looking at my photos, or dread having to describe my body type with euphemisms. (Of course, I have also GOT to lay off the Veggie Chips, Thai Chili-lime cashews, and burgers! Well, at least I usually get turkey burgers and skip the fries...choosing instead, to mooch fries from my dining companions. Heh! I've also packed up my gym bag for tomorrow. Time to get back on the wagon.)

So now, Chemistry.com tells me 3 (age appropriate) guys are interested in me, but of course, I can't read about them without forking over some sawbucks. I also can't tell if "interested" means they did something irritatingly non-committal like winking (or its equivalent) or actually sat down and wrote something.

And I guess my taste is consistent, since when I tried to flag one guy as interesting, I apparently already did it... in my last go around in 2005!

In more mundane news, I decided I didn't like the Familia brand muesli I bought (it's like chewing through styrofoam peanut) so I looked up various recipes for muesli cookies, muesli bars, etc. I prefer the chewy bars, but apparently selected a more crunchy recipe by accident: Healthy Muesli Bars. Well, there's always the other half of the box for a chewy batch such as this one from the UK (although I will skip the gooey choco-topping).

After looking at the results of my first batch of the Healthy recipe (where I substituted using parchment paper for the sushi roller recommended by the instructions), I can now appreciate why they tell you to cut off the ends. Oops:

[Burp]

So apparently I'm still kind of stressed. Because I'm still hoovering down food like a crazed llama.

It's a little better than it was, and I think that's partly a function of being less angry & frustrated, and partly a function of being home (as revoltingly messy as it is -- one thing about staying in that teeny studio apartment [with daily maid service] was that I became quite tidy; well, and I also had only about 5% of my possessions with me). Being home includes being able to wear my fuzzy robe and fuzzy slippers while using my non-Pentium III laptop & lounging on my beloved Green Monster, which by the way, would not even fit INTO most apartments in HK. (Come to think of it, my living room, though insanely cluttered, still feels bigger than the roughly equivalently sized studio in HK, possibly because there's no bed in my field of vision.) And oh yes, being at work, away from the kitchen cupboards...until this morning, that is.

In honor of this semi-compulsive eating, I have posted photos of some of the pastries I bought from Maxim's Bakery. The yummy round tart in the lower left of MY photo is an egg custard tart (drool) which I have loved since I was a kid. The odd lattice-covered bun contains chicken and mushrooms in cream sauce (I blame the odd British culinary heritage HK has absorbed from their colonial oppressors ;-P). The bun with chocolate chips on top was supposed to be a Hokkaido bun (with chocolate cream inside) but turned out to be some other variant, with no cream. The combined cost of that entire sack of pastries: US$4. (For some really amusing photos of the wild variety of wacky buns available in Chinese-style bakeries, check out this person's blog )

Oh yeah, the red car on the curving street to the left is one of the classic HK Island taxis (there are different colors for the different islands in HK: Kowloon, New Territories, etc. -- HK is a city the way that Hawai'i is actually a collection of islands with the largest one bearing the famous name) And ALL streets in HK Island are curving, due to the topography.

I think I'm somewhat calmer also because I've talked to my possible future boss, and he has indicated that the transfer is not a binary choice: it's not yes-now or no-forever. Rather, it's seems to have mutated into if-not-right-now, then maybe-early-next-year, after he may have relocated from Beijing to HK and various other administrative changes have occurred.

This option has made me feel a lot better because I would like to take the transfer, as there is just a whole cr*pload of mess to fix over there, and I actually AM the best person for the task, but not at the expense of my sanity. I've come to the conclusion that there appear to be several fundamentally incompatible views of work and personnel between East and West which were making my head want to explode in frustration. For example:

• West: Work-life balance is important, or at least should be acknowledged.
  
• East: What is this thing you call work-life balance?
• West: Skilled staff are important and should be developed.
• East: Who the hell cares? There are 1.3 billion more where they came from.
• West: Specific skills are important for specific jobs
  
• East: All people are interchangeable. (see above)
  
• West: Work smarter, not harder.
• East: Just throw more people at the problem, but whatever you do, don't spend money. (see above)
• West: What I'm saying may be appallingly blunt, but it's what I mean (generally).
• East: This is what I'm saying, but it's not what I actually mean (almost always).

If my future boss is on location, and since he is sufficiently senior, I would have support for any changes suggested. Otherwise, I'd just be pounding my head against the wall, while at the same time being tasked by corporate HQ in NY with the charge fix the mess. Clearly, that would just be the foundation for the makings of a medical leave where I'd go stare at the padded walls in a sanitarium.

Speaking of frustration, time to go get ready to see a cheap US$6 matinee of Iron Man (woohoo!) with my friend Sam. I'm looking forward to some Robert Downey, Jr.-fueled flippancy, and lots of rockets and rock music. Yee-haw! Catharsis be fun, homey!

And now, I leave with a shot of Hennessy Road at night, the main drag in the Wan Chai district. It can give perhaps just a hint of the frenetic pace of life in HK.