So NOT a morning person

.....and neither is my engineer. Ironically, he is usually off to work by 7am, and there well before 8am. This means that he wakes up at some unfortunate hour, which translates to me usually waking up at the same hour. I have now been awake for almost 3 hours.

Yes, that is a groan of pain you mentally hear. Please, don't hurt yourselves laughing too hard.

Naturally, given the option, both of us would prefer to sleep in, even if we were not together (heh) but we have now been members of the corporate working world for so long, that this doesn't seem to be an option, even if no alarm clocks are involved. Sigh.

On the bright side, I have discovered certain neighborhoods in Jersey City are quite pretty. These photos were taken using my new(ish) cellphone, during my morning walk to the PATH train the other morning.

And that is about all of the eloquence I am capable of, without morning coffee. Must... stagger... off... to... fridge... iced coffee needed STAT!

Squirrelfest

Warning: tonight's post will be a random assortment of objects, partially brought to you by my wide-awakeness at this hour, and partly just because I thought they were fun photos.

The cream colored roses were just an exercise in learning how to use the macro-focus function properly on my camera...after 2 years. Duh. Better late than never.

The squirrel figurine just amused me because, well, it's a squirrel. It's in the window of the Jonathan Adler shop on Greenwich Avenue. And no, I don't intend on purchasing it, especially now that I've found out it's a 10" tall, $120 ring box! Clearly, there's a lot more disposable income floating around (in other people's wallets) than I thought.

Doughnut peaches were new to me, and now I seem to see them everywhere.

And I freaked out slightly tonight when I realized I have to finish a baby sweater before next Wednesday, when I see the mom-to-be. Luckily, (a) I have finished the back, both front panels, and one sleeve, and (b) there is a long weekend coming up. Whew.

Okay, I'm about to turn into a pumpkin (or I will tomorrow, if I don't go rest soon), so I should shuffle off to bed.

Defenseless

That's what teeny weeny babies are. I forget how delicate and tiny they are until I see a 2-week old infant. And I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that my nephew, he who used to be the perpetual bachelor, is now a father...and within 11 months of his wedding!

He's very calm and confident, which has left me bemused, happy, and relieved (since his wife is a total type A: antibacterial soap AND Purell before we can pick up the baby?! how did I ever survive infancy??)

Lillian Kathleen joined the family on August 6th, and like her cousin Nicholas, is a very mellow baby (maybe she'll calm down her mom).

I have a vision of family holiday dinners in a few years: Thomas, Nicholas, and Lillian will be chasing each other around the dining table. Heh.

And defenseless is how I feel around my engineer, but since it's mutual, that's okay, I guess. It always amazes me when I think that it works both ways: whatever kaleidoscope of emotions I feel being with him, I generate an equal amount of tumult on his side. To paraphrase what my friend Margaret said, he's not with me just as a favor; he must be getting something positive out of it too.

Oh.

Since I'm really sleepy, I'll ponder this issue a bit more eloquently at some other time, but for now, I'll just say that things are going swimmingly. Yay!

P.S.
My Japanese co-worker told me Friday, as we devoured the sushi/sashimi special found only on the Japanese-language side of the menu (all those suspicions you've always had about two different menus in Asian restaurants? all true), that my "aura has changed"...in a much more positive way lately. Apparently, I laugh more wholeheartedly, and I smile more, and am generally a happier person. Heh.

Wow

These really opened up at the office! They even have fragrance. Unlike my friend Margaret, however, I have no idea what variety this is. Can't wait to see how the other dozen (!) look like when I get home.

In other fun news, our dept's admin, whom I call our Radar O'Reilly (and every day without her just proves why), had her baby this morning. According to her TXT, Mikala is 7 lb. 13 oz. and now that we know it's a girl, I can start knitting! Like My People (a la LQ) she preferred waiting until after the baby arrived to receive anything, and didn't peek at the baby's gender beforehand. Since has already has 2 little boys, I know she's pleased about having a girl.

Perhaps I'll use my Bernat Love Bug in peach cotton (now discontinued, but which I have several skeins of in Cricket Coral)...or Cotton Tots in Very Berry (variegated pink)... Since, when asked, the mom that I use colors traditionally associated with a gender, I now have free rein to go super-girly! :-)

Moment of Zen

Really tired & sleepy after an evening out with my engineer. We had dinner at this Italian restaurant he likes, which we've been to before. It's quiet (actual conversation at a normal volume) and does not believe in background music (eureka!) with tables spaced discreetly apart, and not cheek to jowl. The staff is friendly but not intrusive and all appear to be long time employees, not "Hi, I'm Joe. I'll be your server this evening...unless I get a casting call."

We were able to talk about lots of things, from silly to solemn, and also pick up from the Serious Conversation we had last night, where we discovered that we really do want a lot of the same things from our lives. Unlike some other guys I've dated, his responses were made without hesitation or hedging.

He paid for dinner, and then a cab home for me (!) from the West Village, after buying me some peach roses. He decided on peach after he asked me what color my living room walls were (holy cow -- I don't even take that into consideration!) There are enough so that I'll take half to the office.

It's not the money he's spending on me (!), but more the fact that he's taking care of me, in ways both little and big.

OK, just fell asleep at the keyboard, so more another day.

When I'm 64

As some of you know, my mom still observes my dad's birthday, even though he's been gone for 27 years, which at this point means he's been dead for more of my life than he was alive. He would have been 104 this month, if he were still here.

In Chinese tradition, you make a meal (preferably of the deceased's favorites), complete with booze and rice, lay out the spread before you eat any of it, and leave it out for at least an hour for the spirits to partake. (Hey, would YOU want to be rushed through a meal? I thought not.) Then of course, there is also the incense to light, the prayers to speak, and the ghost money to burn.

Yesterday's extravaganza included:

• cauliflower, tomato & shiitake
• chicken & string beans
• roast duck (yummmmm...)
• vegetarian duck (made from scratch, natch)
• garlic shrimp
• braised whole sea bass
• chopped celery & fried egg
• braised pork belly w/ bamboo
• fresh peanuts, boiled
• rice vermicelli w/ shiitake & seitan
• whole fruit

After your guests have eaten, the family is then allowed to fall upon the yummy feast.

Not surprisingly, I was still not hungry this morning. I will also be set for lunch & dinner for a week, if not more. (This will not stop me from being the wasteful American I am & going out to eat with friends in any case...like tonight's dinner w/ my engineer -- but more on him later.)

Mom also sent me off with some funky yellow watermelon (!) which I had never seen before, but which tastes delicious: sweet & juicy.

It was a weekend for family visits. I went with Monsieur Le Engineer on Saturday to visit his mom (80) and dad (76) down in Toms River. His dad had been moved to the rehab center after his long series of operations, and his mom spent part of the afternoon making him tasty treats (ex: shrimp w/ snow peas) to rescue him from the institutional food. I felt like I was visiting a surburban version of my mom (!) except one with patience: she showed me how to prepare some of the dishes (I helped! really! amazing, I know), whereas my mom has always been too impatient with my slow & deliberate learning style to do so.

We spent all of Saturday with his parents, and it was great. I liked them a lot (his mom is so cute! like the grandma of your dreams) and I'm hoping the feeling was mutual. (He seemed to be pleased with the way we all got along, so I'm going to take that as a yes.)

More musings on the really wonderful weekend later (my lunch hour is over) but I will end this post using the food theme by mentioning the yum-yummity artisanal cheese he & I had as part of breakfast yesterday: Langres (a/k/a "the Shar Pei of cheeses" in the amusing words of Le Engineer) and Abbaye de Belloc, both of which arrived on his doorstep as part of an super early delivery from FreshDirect on Saturday morning.

The links provide background on the cheeses themselves, but I thought the photo I took of the Langres after we had left it out (not that this stopped us from devouring most of it anyway) was entertaining, if not downright, um, lewd. Of course, that could just be more indicative of my smut-for-brains mentality than anything else. Ahem.

the dark side

This year's QuikCheck Balloon Festival in NJ had a Darth Vader balloon which is hysterical. I mean, really, you have to see it, and the previous link (a Darth Vader balloon ) is by the creator, so it has background info. I did not attend the 6:30am (!) ascension this year, but my coworker Julia and her twin sister did. Their photos of Darth made me decide you guys absolutely HAD to see it. ;-P

Now the squirrel billboard above (which was at the Greenwich Metro-North station) has nothing to do with it, but I thought it was also funny, especially considering my packrat tendencies.

And in other news relating to the dark side, every now and then I am tempted to cut and run from my engineer before I get serious about him. I mean, right now I like him "really a lot," (to use Ms. M's amusing expression) but it wouldn't cause the death of many, many Kleenex if we parted. (I still remember how much fun THAT sobfest was, when I broke up with the ex.)

This temptation was particularly strong today because he had to cancel on our date tonight at the last minute due to family obligations unrelated to medical emergencies, and the "thanks for being so understanding" spiel, while completely heartfelt on his part, touched off many bad memories of being taken for granted by the ex. Been there, done that, don't want another t-shirt.

So I put him on notice: he is perilously close to using up all of his get out of jail free cards. I knew that I was furious for many reasons, most of them not having to do with him: the ex, my fear, PMS hell, and only last was genuine exasperation.

However, it also made me realize that however much I like him, and whatever his many fine qualities, I will not put up with the same sh*t I did before. Nothing, but nothing is worth being that miserable (all while convinced that I was happy, of course).

It also helps that although I am quite bemused whenever he says he thinks I'm hot, I don't disbelieve him, and in fact, think others might actually agree. In other words, I am finally confident about how I look. It only took 40 years, give or take 45 lbs.

And when he says that he thinks I'm special, he must mean at least some part of that (40 years of self-doubt can't be overturned quite that quickly) since I have been consistently showing him my various anxieties & baggage, holding him off unpredictably, not quite letting him in, and generally behaving like the nutjob I am and he still thinks I'm special. WTF?! No wonder I'm periodically terrified -- this relationship could actually Mean Something. Holy sh*t.

the absence of noise

Not in terms of traffic, sirens, or construction, but in another, more internal way. You know how sometimes you don't notice a constant background noise until it suddenly stops? That's what I realized recently about being with my engineer vs. my ex. With the ex, there was always an undercurrent of faint anxiety about his feelings towards me.

Now that I don't have that feeling with Mr. Engineer, it's left me a little disoriented (in a good way). I'm bemused because he's affectionate and actually tells me how he feels about me (!) without me having to sit him down for A Talk. Holy cr*p. Nope, not throwing this one back into the sea.

And because I don't feel uncertain, and since he's not a workaholic, there's never a compulsive need to ask when he'll call, or when I'll see him. Amazing. (Well to me anyway, but then, I'm not always very bright.)

The photo on the left is of some black radishes (who knew they existed?) in a collander before they were chopped and roasted for dinner Sunday (yes, he made me dinner again -- definitely a keeper) and the one on the right is of the beets prior to roasting. I just thought they were cool images.

Also cool is watching my mom being entertained by various new additions to the family. :-) She's now much less likely to be bored while visiting my sister's family in CT, what with THREE GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN. Jeez.

In other news, saw THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR with my friend Sam, and it was worth exactly what we paid for it: $0.

The clerk at the movie theater screwed up, and although I did appease my conscience by pointing this out, he decided it was just easier to give me both tickets instead of voiding out one, and just giving me the one free ticket I was entitled to, from the AMC loyalty card. Insufficient asskicking and too much silliness & noise. I think I will have to go and watch my HK VCDs for a good dose of Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li and serious martial arts choreography. (Margaret - Russell Wong has a supporting role and he is not aging well. Alas. Used to have such a crush on him. Oh well.)

Tonight was also my last night of ceramics class for the next 6 weeks or so, during which time the studio will be closed. (Gee, whatever will I do with all of that free time? ;-P) My latest kick has been to throw really big tumblers and cups, since I hate having to refill my water glass all the time. Here's one I really hope will turn out well, once I glaze it next semester.

There are so many ways to screw up in ceramics. When the glaze crawls (i.e., doesn't stick to the bisque-fired clay piece) and leaves bald patches, it's sooo frustrating! Like this bowl I got back tonight: the color was great. It just didn't cover the whole bowl!

See the brown patch on the inside? And the white patches on the outside? That's what's known as crawling. Phooey. So I decided that whenever that happened, I'd just use the piece at the studio (as a crock to hold tools, a water bowl, etc.)

And now, I really need to sleep.

P.S.
Oh, and tonight, someone in class called me one of those skinny people who can always eat whatever they want. WTF?? I mean, uh, SAY WHAT?!

This was particularly ironic given that I had just hurt myself by having my usual Tuesday night dinner of a 6" Subway ham sandwich on whole wheat crammed with veggies, and topped with mustard (a mere 5 pts in WW land), and THEN continuously grazing on nuts, Terra chips, mini-Twix bars, etc. during our traditional end of semester potluck. Unluckily for me, my weekly WW weigh in manana. Oh well. At it was all worth it taste-wise. :-)

Show & Tell

So this waterfall underneath the Brooklyn Bridge is much more striking than the one near my mom, even with my sucky cellphone camera. Of course, the water appears to be killing the DUMBO trees next to the River Cafe...
I'm very tired so tonight will be show & tell blog night... This blue-green bowl became my friend Ellen's birthday present.
While Jane will be receiving this jar (only the 3rd one I ever made, and the 2nd successful one...we won't talk about the first one...) and it will be [over] filled with Godiva truffles & dark chocolate covered dried raspberries. The raspberry ones sounded so good that I bought a packet for myself ;-P~ And while my engineer has not yet graduated to full-sized bowls, he is dishworthy... which he promptly proceeded to use immediately to serve us antipasto while he was making me dinner the other weekend (pasta w/ capers, sausage, olives, and tomatoes...yum)
The "yum" refers to both the dinner and the fact that I think he's dishy ;-P Oh, and Ms. Pirate? You are getting one a Squirrelette original as well, but since I haven't sent it yet (since I am a DORK) I'm not going to post a picture here...yet. :-D

The views

So despite the fabulous promo and PR photos of the current NYC public art installation, New York City Waterfalls, although I am all for Mayor Bloomberg's support of public art after the Giuliani desert years.

The photo on the left is the view from my mom's apartment on July 17th, when for no apparent reason, there were fireworks over the harbor (score!) and the streaky blue thingy above the EMS parking depot is one of the waterfalls. They vary in size, true, but I still like The Gates better.

And yesterday, I was enjoying the view at Kittatinny Point on the Delaware Water Gap with my engineer (I think we can safely change pronouns now -- yes, I have a big goofy grin on my face.)

We were sprawled on a blanket watching canoe traffic on the river, the patterns of the leaves on the trees above our heads, and teeny tiny frogs the size of my always-trimmed-for-ceramics-studio fingernails hopping around (sidebar: the idea that he was a Boy Scout just tickles this city girl silly, right up there with my fascination for all things suburban, like chain restaurants, etc.).

We never made it to the restaurant he mentioned, because we lost track of time, but I have faith we'll be using more fossil fuel on various ramblings in the foreseeable future. :-D Oh, and we saw 5 or 6 huge rainbows on the way home. Do wishes made on rainbows count the same as for falling stars?

Speaking of engineers, my friend Le Vet sent me this hysterical link many, many weeks ago, to An Engineer's Guide to Cats. I forget if I've already posted about it, but this guy's deadpan delivery will entertain anyone who knows cats, or engineers, and especially those who are familiar with both species.

Speaking of alien species, on Saturday I forgot to mention that my poor friend Sam was forced to listen to me blather about Weight Watchers since most of my gal pals have either moved (I miss you ladies!!) or fallen off the face of the earth. Poor Sam. He's a good sport, but it was probably as exciting to him as differential equations are to me.

And finally, my coworker D (who is also braving the wilds of online dating) sent me a link to this interesting column from Yahoo Personals: Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Reduce Your Divorce Risk While I may not always agree with this columnist, most of these points seem sensible, and I have always been a firm believer of point #2: "rethink living together". Either commit and get married, or maintain separate homes -- none of this half-a**ed sh*t.

And re: #10 - unlike my last 3 boyfriends, my engineer is firmly of the "I want to be here with you" mode, and not "um, can we wait and see how this turns out before I let you in?" school of relating. That is not to say that we are going to commit to anything serious anytime soon, but it is astonishingly refreshing to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be there. Someone. Who. Wants. To. Be. There.

And on that chipper note, I leave you with another photo from my friend Walter's fabbo garden, as I trundle off to bed, prior to a frakking stupid 9am conference call. [If I hadn't had such a wonderful day yesterday, I would have gone postal, but as it was I was (a) able to calmly and tactfully explain why calling London @ 5am ET was a stupid idea, and (b) the most tranquil person in the office -- how mindboggling is THAT?] This leafy greenness -- and general lack of humans -- reminds me of Kittatinny.

And in other news...

Today was the beginning of the apocalypse. (kidding) But really, look at this shot from 12:30pm and tell me you wouldn't have wondered. It was so dark I had to turn on the lamps in my living room. Then it poured rain...for all of maybe 15 minutes. Then it was bright and sunny later in the afternoon. Funky.

After trundling off to the ceramics studio for a wee bit of glazing this afternoon, I met my friend Sam for an early dinner at the new Chelsea branch of Uncle Nick's on 29th & 8th which opened in July. Yummmm... I managed not to actively hurt myself, but it was a near thing as I left stuffed to the gills after a combo dip platter (Tzatziki, Tarama, Melitzanosalata & Scordalia) and an "appetizer" portion of bifteki saganaki that was huge. Quoth Sam, "THAT'S the appetizer size?!" He ordered the only tasty rendering of pastitsio I have ever seen. Yum.

Tomorrow, I'm off for a day trip with Le Engineer to wander all over PA, ending with dinner at a restaurant he wants to visit in the Delaware River Gap area. Apparently, the restaurant has been there for decades and there is a salt lick in the back yard which attracts (unsurprisingly) a lot of deer, so there is scenery for the diners. (Yes, it's basically an excuse for us to spend the entire day together -- sue me.)

We had a talk tonight about Stuff and I am continually amazed that he's such a...nice person. Don't quite know how to describe it, but pretty much everything he said tonight reinforced why I like this guy. I'm happy and just gonna go with it, without worrying at it like a dog with a bone.

This mellow mood is probably also helping me with the cleanliness thing, as I always mutter that my apartment is like a Rorschach test re: my state of mind. Witness my living room, which I have managed to still keep it fairly tidy, and also to keep up with my shredding. See?? This corner was formerly invisible, as it was buried under a mountain of paper, dishtowels, and all sorts of other crap.

In family news, next Saturday is my new great-nephew Nicholas' baptism so I get to see if he is a little more interactive yet (doubtful) but I will love seeing everyone else, including my youngest niece, who will be flying back from San Francisco, and possibly my soon-to-be great-niece, whose future name escapes me at the moment.

My brother-in-law -- who is really like my second dad, since mine died when I was 13, and he married my sister when I was 6 -- may finally be persuaded by his doctor to eventually get a hearing aid, which will help things tremendously, as it is very isolating to be unable to hear conversations around you.

My dad was deaf in one ear (I was a bad daughter -- or maybe merely too young -- and always had difficulty remember which ear...oops) but he never had a problem telling people that he couldn't hear them. Not so with my bro-in-law. Sigh.

The doctor thinks he may also be showing early signs of Alzheimer's. While this may sound horrible, it's actually good news, as we had all been worrying about this for the past several months, but he would never discuss it. So that fact that the doctor is preparing to run some tests is actually progress, since this means he's at least starting to deal with the situation, whatever it may be. This is a great relief since there are new medications which may help, it could simply be a chemical imbalance, and of course, the damn hearing aid. (Sorry... worry + frustration = crankiness)

Since he sometimes forgets to eat, my mom is showing her concern by (a) offering to make his favorite dish (chicken & snow peas) the next time I visit (I visited last weekend & will try to go up twice a month) and by (b) yelling about how my sister should be nicer to him -- heh (ah, the magic mom decoder ring...).