Enlightenment

More fun and games with a slow shutter speed and tripod. Bonus: orange lighting for Halloween on the ESB. (Click on the photo if you want to see a larger version.) I think this shot was 10 seconds, and not 15, with ISO 80 and f8.0 settings.

While I was fooling around with the camera, WFUV played a song which caught my attention: it was by My Morning Jacket (whom I had never heard of before, but then, I am so not plugged in to the music scene) from their album Evil Urges (nice title!) and the song was called Librarian (HA! even nicer title!). The lyrics are about the classic cliche of the sexy librarian, but since I've been feeling extremely UNsexy this year (chemo and radiation will do that to you) I'm certainly not going to complain now, am I?

Considering that, it's a good thing I haven't run into my ex (EVER) but oddly enough my dentist gave me an update on him. (Yes, you heard me: my dentist -- since I have referred my not-ex-at-the-time, my nephew, and my mom to him, I'm going to consider asking for kickbacks soon.) Although I answered his query about whether I keep in touch with the ex ("Well, um, NO.") he went ahead and updated me on his status anyway (oh well). On the one hand, I'm glad to hear he's kept up with his dental care, but on the other, he's apparently been unemployed for several months now.

Hmmm... I have to admit I feel kind of weird hearing about him. While I don't wish him ill, it makes me feel a little awkward... I'm not sure why. However, I am grateful that despite the many times I've walked past his block on my way to the subway, I have yet to run across him. (Watch -- I've jinxed myself and this streak will now end.)

While I am off discovering new things (like the effects of different shutter speeds and songs about librarians -- this one in particular is hilarious), I will also need to reacquaint myself with older bits of knowledge, like how in the world to set up my TiVo wireless network again, since my wireless router is kaput.

Tonight I discovered what that router did: it allows my little TiVo to connect to the mothership and download program info. Without that program guide, it has no idea what/when to record, and tonight, at 11:01pm, it finally ran out of the buffer/cache it had downloaded before last weekend. Whoops. Since MY Tivo has been configured to use a wireless setup (thanks to that same ex, who was also the one who gave me my TiVo for Xmas one year) it's not very happy at the moment, and I have no idea how to reconfigure it for an ethernet connection.

So tomorrow, after Mr. FreshDirect shows up, I'm off to buy the Netgear WGR614 802.11g wireless router. Since that is the model the mothership recommends, I'm all for it. (Plus, since it's an older model, it's cheaper -- bonus!)

Yes, life is good when a wireless router is my most looming concern.

Grand Slam

Did I mention that I seem to have (been) scheduled for a grand slam of medical appointments? Once I finished radiation (still worth a "woohoo!") I realized that within the space of a month, I have an appointment with every single one of my health care practitioners -- except, ironically, my GP -- radiologist, surgeon, oncologist, gynecologist, dentist. (Okay, that's actually 5 events, not 4, but I couldn't think of a 5-event tournament.)

Thankfully, all of the visits, except for the ob/gyn, are routine follow-up visits: now that I've finally finished all of my treatments, it's time for my final round of "just checking" visits, and long-delayed dental checkup (they don't really want you having a cleaning while your immune system is suppressed -- all that scraping along the gumline disturbs bacteria which is normally harmless to a healthy person, but may cause an infection in a chemo patient).

(Warning to the guys: more icky girl-med news ahead) The gynecologist visit was for my neverending, 3-week period. She said that it sounded like I had not been ovulating during my period (gee, why ever would my body be all out of whack this year?) and so that confuses the uterus which sheds at an abnormal/continuous rate, instead of a normal/simultaneous rate. Wonderful.

This resulted in experiencing a endometrial/uterine biopsy, which the doctor described, not inaccurately, as similar to being poked in the eye. OUCH. Not having given birth, I can say this ranks right up there as one of the most painful experiences of my life... extended over 3-4 samples, one for each region of the uterus. Lovely.

Being a woman, the gyn was sympathetic when she admitted that although it is less painful if you relax during the procedure, that relaxing is virtually impossible to do while someone is poking you with a sharp stick inside your body (unlike episodes of CSI, these samples do NOT use a cotton swab). (Okay, icky girly-med details over, guy friends.)

Since she is usually very prompt with bad news, as I know from firsthand experience, I take the lack of post-biopsy contact from the doc as a good sign. I am not fond of this preview of menopause, however, since 5 years of tamoxifen (which will suppress my body's absorption of estrogen) are looming in my immediate future.

Okay, on to more pleasant topics, like books (gulped down the Swedish locked-room mystery The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo in one sitting last weekend -- now I am hankering after its sequel, which is still only in hardcover, The Girl Who Played With Fire) and -- of course -- food.

The photo above is of Julee Russo's tuna & white bean salad I made the other day (basically a lemon vinaigrette with 1 cup each of chopped parsley and chopped scallions tossed in -- delicious) and the giant sea scallops are from last night's book club meeting at Cucina & Co in The MetLife Building. (Amusingly enough, there was another book club also meeting at the restaurant, which is very well priced -- especially their dinner-for-two specials -- and amenable to diners who linger over their meals.)

Although the menu described the (very reasonably priced) scallops as arriving on a bed of leeks and tomatoes, they showed up on some yummy spinach instead, so I think sauteed spinach was the veggie of the day.

Then I came home and fed my sweetie -- who was arriving from one of his evenings at wing tsun class -- with some oxtail soup from the freezer (recipe from mom) and braised tofu with pork chops (leftovers from mom, who I visited Tuesday night). When my engineer heard that the tofu was from mom that day, he immediately snarfed down the entire bowl (heh). The admiration is mutual, as my mom sent me home with a bag of homemade frozen pork dumplings for him. (You can also tell she likes him -- and that she has concluded I am better healthwise -- because she once again asked me, "So are you two getting married or what?")

Okay, time to get showered and ready to face another day of idiocy at the office. My immediate coworkers are fine, but some of the other yo-yos in my company...! I'm beginning to think that the newspapers are not exaggerating about the brain drain situation... Hmmm... better shut up while I'm still employed!

Food, glorious food

So I am now officially middle aged: the gastroenterologist who gave me That Procedure has said that I should take Benefiber every day... "For how long," I asked? Answer: forever!

Apparently, I have diverticulosis, which is slightly different from diverticulitis. Diverticulosis is the when you have bulgy pockets in your large intestine, which can trap food particles (thanks, Mom -- I seem to have inherited both the boob cancer and this lovely condition from her) which can then irritate your system, leading to diverticulitis and a host of other unpleasant symptoms.

So now I have 2 sources urging me to eat LOTS of high fiber foods and drink LOTS of fluids: WW and Dr. Gerdes. Oh well. On the bright side, I will buy double the amount of Benefiber and give half to my mom, who despite all of our instructions (my sister + me) does not eat nearly enough fiber or drink enough water.

It's a good thing that I already have a fondness for whole grain foods, such as banana oat bran muffins (only 2 points! and if I ever remember which recipe it is, I'll post it here).

And since my mom sent me home with 1/4 of a watermelon (!) I have plenty of high fiber, low calorie fruit to snack on today, along with Julee Rosso's tuscan tuna and white bean salad (photos another day) which is scrumptious and a mere 4 points.

The photos above and below are experiments suggested by my sweetie with time lapse photography. I took them from my living room window, using a 15 second exposure @ ISO80, with an 8.0 aperture. These were both done after sunset. Nice, eh?

Wait, Wait...!

So on Thursday night, my friend Ellen and I went to a taping of Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me! at Carnegie Hall, where this week's episode had celebrity guest Brian Williams, the anchorman. I had always thought he was a bland Ken doll, but apparently he's pretty sharp, with a snarky sense of humor. Who knew?

The taping of a 50 minute radio show turned out to take two and a half hours, but they were hilarious. They also had a Q&A session after the show, and they had Carl Kasell demonstrate one of his answering machine greetings -- where he sings "What's New, Pussycat" by Tom Jones. Unfortunately, my RealPlayer is corrupted, and version 11 won't reinstall (and I'm not the only person to have this infuriating problem), so I can't play it to entertain myself. Oh well.

Speaking of technical problems, yesterday the cable guy came after my being without broadband access at home all week -- oy. After some poking and prodding, he ended up replacing my cable modem (since it kept spontaneously rebooting while he was here) and diagnosing that my wireless router was dead. So now my Tivo is semi-lobotomized, but thankfully still functional.

Today, I have been drinking the revolting liquid, HalfLytey, which preps me for tomorrow's delightful procedure. While I spent most of the day hungry (no solid food allowed today -- only jello and chicken broth) this problem was abruptly terminated once I started drinking this stuff at 5pm, after mixing in the orange flavor pack (my options were pineapple, orange, lemon-lime, and cherry).

It's nauseating -- salty, gel-like, yet completely clear -- which I can only deal with by chugging down each glass without pause (one every 20 min. for 3 hours). Someone has posted an amusing account if you are really curious about this process. I, on the other hand, after 3 hours of wondering if this stuff was ever going work, have discovered that yes, it will be working, so I will be busy for the foreseeable future.

Therefore, I will leave you will a rather more celestial vision to contemplate -- tonight's sunset over the trees of Central Park, which are finally turning fall colors (this year's odd weather patterns have confused not only the fauna, but the flora of NYC).

Oh, and since my sister is picking me up from the hospital tomorrow, after the fun and games (the hospital insists on a accompanying adult after anesthesia, or they won't do it), my mom promptly offered to make us both a meal afterward. Sold!

Crunchy Contrasts

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Last night, my sweetie took me to Sushi Yasuda, and tonight I am eating something out of a box/bag (do the words "shelf stable" strike fear into your heart? they should).

Well, I was feeling really wiped out and it occured to me that I was perhaps hungry (duh) and so I nuked something (do not ask what -- really, you'll be happier not knowing) and well, all I can say is: it was only 4 points. (My daily WW budget is now a measly 20.) But on to more cheerful topics... like last night's sushifest!

The itty bitty crabs you see above (compare the size of that lemon wedge to those little babies!) was one of that night's appetizer specials (flash fried miniature crabs) which I loved and my engineer thought was merely okay.

What we BOTH agreed upon was that Ysauda-san has some of the best sushi we've ever had the pleasure of tasting. Yes, our 6:30 reservation at the sushi bar landed us smack dab in front of Yasuda'san's station. FUN! Dinner AND a show! (The knife work was dazzling, natch.)

After a while we just let him suggest what was particularly good that evening. (The a la carte menu had little pen notations highlighting the evening's best selections as well.) That is how my engineer wound up trying scallop liver sushi for the first time, which he liked.

The chef is a very genial man with a sense of humor. After watching us place our individual selections, and noticing how divergent they were, he laughed and said something like, "Hmmm... very different tastes. Very independent. This is good! It is good to have balance!"

He also demonstrated the difference in texture and color between farm-raised and wild salmon of the same species. No marbling in the wild sashimi while the farm-raised variety was covered in marbling, the type we've come to expect when people say "salmon". He made a joke and city fish vs. country fish... except that in NYC it's reversed, with the city folk lean from walking along streets and up and down stairs, while "country" people go overywhere in cars. Heh-heh, heh heh heh (he has a very distinctive laugh)

Can't really going into the loooong list of fish we had (read this person's description for some vicarious thrills) since I have to run off to meet someone, but it is definitely worth keeping on our rotation as a special occasion restaurant (the price tag bumps it into that category... but oh man, I'd go there regularly if I could afford it!)

Oh, and by the way, both cleaning people on our floor at work exclaimed upon seeing me last night for the first time in several weeks: they thought I had been on vacation (ha!) since when they go home to Poland or Georgia (the country, not the state) they go for weeks at a time. Clearly, demonstrable evidence that I am a night owl if the cleaning people miss/note my presence!

Finito!

So this is the sign that greets you when you check in at radiation, and yesterday as you can see, was not a good day for the machines. In fact, when I arrived, machine 241 was also on the list.

However, miraculously, they took me in EARLY! Woohoo! So I was done (how I love that word: DONE!) early!

Yes, I made Rob (the receptionist) smile when I arrived, took out my big bowl of cookies that had "THANK YOU!" stickered across the lid, and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"

He congratulated me and I continued to beam at everyone in sight and told the techs (i.e., they who actually zap me) that the cookies were out front with Rob. (I was also gratified to note that half of the mixing-bowl-sized container was gone by the time I left.)

I celebrated last night by going home and doing laundry. Heh.

No, really, my sweetie is actually taking me out to dinner tonight, at this sushi restaurant I've been wanting to try -- Sushi Yasuda -- which could in fact be the one my engineer once tried ("It was near the UN and was some of the best sushi I ever had... but I can't remember where it was") and if so, I will feel virtuous when the check comes ;-)

Next month, we will continue the celebration by going away for a long weekend. I put it off for a few weeks because the way I feel these days, I'd be sleeping the whole weekend, and that would be a waste of a trip. "No, you go hiking sweetie, and I'll just take a nap here." -- Um, I think not. So, November it is. :-)

This morning, my coworkers were very sweet and surprised me with a little fete. Julia brought in homemade lemon cookies (yum!!) and they sprang for an assortment of mini-cupcakes from Crumbs. It's a good thing my new WW session doesn't start till tomorrow. (heh)

Okay, lunch time is OVAH.

The Fine Print

These Classics Illustrated used to be a guilty pleasure of mine in high school, and so when I saw one of my all time favorite novel, I couldn't resist snapping a cellphone pic. Doesn't Mr. Rochester look entertainingly alarmed by the flame sets by his looney tune wifey?

So on Friday, I found out the fine print on radiation aftereffects. (You knew there was a catch, right?) Besides sensitivity to sunlight in the irradiated area (I'm not a sunbather anyway), there may be a permanent darkeing of the skin (unknown how much, may be a little may be a lot), and a permanent hardening (once again, YMMV) since the cells have been altered (I forget exactly how, but they did explain -- basically, your body is not happy with you; oh well -- what else is new?)

I am very tired all of the time and constantly have the urge to nap... but also have problems falling asleep. (Why can't these side effects at least be consistent?!)

And as an added bonus (guys may want to avert their eyes) I seem to have been cursed with the curse for well over 2 weeks. When I asked the radiology team, they looked surprised and said I should speak to my gynecologist (i.e., this is not a normal side effect of radiation so they have no idea why it's happening).

I had not been particularly concerned since by this point I am used to my body acting oddly and expressing its displeasure in various ways. However, seeing a look of surprise on your radiation nurse's face is not reassuring, so I have made an appointment for later this week to see my gyn. Sigh. (Okay, guys: it's safe now for the Y-chromosome set.)

As an aside, the tea cosy on the right is for my engineer's mom's birthday this week. I was amused to find during our weekend visit that her teapot was ALSO orange, making for a truly blinding display of fall colors, eh?

The team that does the boost shots has a habit of running late, really late. One day last week they were running really, REALLY late (over 2 hours) so, like the airlines of yore, they gave me a meal voucher coupon and I went and bought dinner that night in the hospital cafeteria.


Other food porn: this gigantic slab of grilled salmon I had with sauteed spinach Saturday night, at Bitsy's in Jersey City (or as I jokingly refer to it, Cheers, because it's a neighborhood joint where they really DO know your names). Um, yes, I finished the entire slab. It was yummy.
My sweetie's mom made cioppino yesterday for dinner, an Italian seafood stew. Her mix included homemade crab stock, swordfish, shrimp, clams, and mussels, with leeks and tomatoes.

She sent me home with a container (guess what I'm having for dinner tonight? yippee!) since THIS was what she had left AFTER serving all 4 of us dinner last night.


Okay, lunch time is over, and tonight is MY LAST RADIATION TREATMENT. It will be late, since I'm not even schuled until 5:45 and they always run late... I bought a tub of assorted cookies yesterday, and will give them to the staff tonight :-)

X marks the spot

My family rocks. Or as my sweetie said after meeting them all for the first time -- and not running away screaming into the night -- (and I do mean all: it was Thanksgiving), "They are fabulous."

My nephew calls periodically to see how I am doing. My younger niece sends me cute cards from the Left Coast. And my older niece sends me pretty flowers. (See?!) My mom counts down the days of treatment left, and my sister is there whenever I need to chat (unless it's after 10pm, when she turns into a pumpkin ;-P and which is when *I* should turn into a pumpkin but don't always do... even though I am tired! Schizo, I know).

So okay, I know family members are supposed to be there for each other, but I can still stop and smell (and appreciate) the roses, can't I?

And in other RTBT, my digital phone and digital cable modem mysteriously returned from the void tonight, without my having to take off Thursday (not my preferred use of a vacation day!) to wait for the cable repair person. Hoorah!

Of course, when my cable company advertised their "triple play" package, I don't think they meant to emphasize the fact that "oh yeah, now you can lose ALL of your connectivity to the outside world in one fell swoop" (thank goodness for my cellphone... so I could call them for a service appointment!)

And in other happymaking news, I only have FOUR MORE TREATMENTS TO GO !!! EUREKA! (Um, yeah, I'm just a bit excited.) Today was my first radiation "boost" and since the x90 express bus mysteriously did not show, I wound up taking a cab to the hospital (ouch! well, it was only $10 more than the x90 and it can go in my ever growing pile of medical expense deductions) since I knew it would take a while longer to set me up for the first shot.

The past several weeks have been the "shotgun" approach, as I've mentioned, and this "rifle/sniper" version requires a different machine with higher dosages/frequencies/something or others. So yes, once again, I was meeting new men and semi-topless within minutes. Sigh. Oh well. Since one of them was a HUGE Streisand fan, I think we can understand why he was the "designated scratcher" (I was motionless on the table for 30 minutes and suddenly noticed tormenting itches in various places) using some gauze pads.

So both men used Sharpies and vegetable dyes to draw a big circle around the target area with a big "X" right above the incision. My boob now (sort of) looks like Petey, the dog from The Little Rascals (a show I never liked, BTW). Unlike Petey, I am planning on MY circle not migrating from side to side (evidently, the show did not have a continuity person on staff).

While the treatment itself, like the "regular" radiation, is painless, I do occasionally experience sharp shooting pains afterward. (Well, I am poisoning my boob, after all -- I can't expect my body not to register some displeasure.)

On to more cheerful topics, like FOOD! (of course)

The photo below the flowers shows the remnants of the oxtail soup, after I fed my sweetie dinner last night. Since I let it simmer some more while I was reheating it, the meat fell completely off the bones by the time I served the soup. I found the pile of bones a funny sight. Hee! Also, since it was refrigerated, I was able to skim off all of the congealed fat. WW would be so proud. ;)

The next shot shows the roasted pork loin I fed my knitting buddies on Sunday night. Jackie and Marci had no quibbles with the superbly simple recipe which essentially consisted of sticking some fresh rosemary in the pork, shoving it in the oven with apple cider for 90 minutes and basting every 30 minutes. You can see the pile of rosemary I pulled out from the lusciously crisped layer of fat.

And of course, there were the accompanying roasted vegetables, which included the Japanese turnips I bought at the greenmarket. The seasoning was also wonderfully simple: toss with sherry (one of the only good things to come out of my ill-fated trip to Spain 5 years ago), salt, thyme, and olive oil.

Okay, thinking about this food is making my mouth water. Time to go to sleep and avoid eating anything else.

Just 6 more times

So once again, I wound up flashing a strange man. Well, okay, he wasn't strange -- he was just a stranger. I met the doctor covering for my radiation onco and told him about my fun fun symptoms. Then I got to take off my shirt. Sigh.

You'd think I'd get used to it, but no. And it feels more awkward when I have to strip in front of an unknown man, as opposed to an unfamiliar woman. At least I don't think I need to go through that again, since I have only one, maybe two more visits with this team before I go back to my regular surgeon for my last post-surgical follow up visit (which I put off till November, since the radiation treatment is still not done) -- he's a man, but at least he's someone I know.

Wanna know what the new doctor said when I asked him if there was anything I could do to minimize the itching and freakish skin conditions? He said, basically nothing will help except stopping radiation. In other words, just bite the bullet, grit my teeth, and wait for it to be over.

The only other option would be to try different lotions besides hydrocortisone -- so I used a $3 CVS coupon to by some Benadryl lotion and some Aveeno calamine lotion. I also bought some Johnson's (tear free) baby wash on the theory that if it's gentle enough for babies, I could use it and not irritate my skin.

On to more pleasant topics, like food (of course). While visiting my mom last night, I asked her how she made oxtail soup, and came home and put it into effect this evening. My only substitutions were (a) throwing in chopped grape tomatoes since I had way too many of those and not enough regular tomatoes, and (b) using organic celery instead of Chinese cabbage since I despise Chinese cabbage (a/k/a Napa cabbage).

The soup was a success! After a few hours on the stove, the apartment smelled like Mom's apartment when she makes oxtail soup, and it was a tasty dinner -- a tasty solo dinner, since my sweetie is suffering from a cold (part of the reason I made the soup) and decided to stay home. tonight and come over for lunch instead. Yep, we're the high energy twins this weekend.

It seems a shame that I don't have a community garden's compost pile to contribute my vegetable trimmings to, but I found a recipe for celery leaves which I will use tomorrow. Since my mom pointed out that Chinese people eat the leaves while Americans eat the stalks (ironic, no?) I figured the leafy bits are edible and am looking forward to trying them. They certainly smell yummy.

The organic celery, Japanese turnips, and Honeycrisp apples all came home with me from the Union Square Greenmarket, since that's in between mom's place and mine (but then what isn't?) after a brief detour to her local supermarket where I read her the specials in this week's circular. Since they had some insanely cheap sales on things like Lean Cuisine and canned tuna, between that and the greenmarket, I bought enough stuff to bend me over like Quasimodo. Maybe that's why I was so tired all afternoon (or it could just be 5 weeks of radiation).

It's a good thing I switched to the Boston Avon Walk in May 2010, since I could barely stay awake tonight past 6pm. The NYC walk is this weekend, so you can see how that wouldn't have worked out too well.

And I leave you (as I started this post) with photos of Peebler's Point in Central Park, named after Charles Peebler, the man who brought you the memorable Got Milk and Pork, The Other White Meat ad campaigns. I took these photos last Sunday when my sweetie and I went for an hour 45 minute walk.

The Itchy & Scratchy Show - The Sequel

You know how when you have that maddening mosquito bite which itches furiously and irresistibly, yet when you scratch it there's no relief exactly but rather only a sort of pain which just exacerbates the itch? However, the itchy sensation is overpowering that you just can't stop yourself from scratching it even though you KNOW, you just know that it will merely cause you more grief. You know the circumstances I mean?

Yeah, like that, except for a whole area on my torso, and not just a bump like with the mosquito bite. Aaaaahhhh!!!

The hydrocortisone just doesn't cut it. I rub it on and it's like pouring a teapot on a brushfire -- there's a brief flicker of forlorn hope and then you realize the fire is going to just chow down on that measly bit of water.

Thankfully, Fridays are my weekly check up with the radiation oncologist and so I will fling myself upon the mercy of her team (she herself is actually away this week). The infuriating itch (and there's a lovely lesion to go with it, by the way -- naturally) has put any concern over the blackening of my pores in the shade (and no, I don't mean blackheads like when we were teens -- I mean that the pores are all looking freaky).

Oh well, at least it took me 5 weeks to get to this state of discomfort -- I didn't arrive here earlier, if you see what I mean. No wonder the onco was so amazed at my tolerances during the previous weeks.

I blame the occasional lapse in memory (ah, chemo brain, how I don't love you) recently: until this past week, I have been diligently enjoying a glass od red wine every evening, per that new medical study I talked about previously. However, I forgot one or two times during the past week. See what happens??

The incongruously serene view above is of the East River and Manhattan Bridge, for those of you who have not visited lately. It's the view I get 4 days a week on the express bus as I trundle uptown for the daily zappage. (On Wednesdays, the appointment is too early -- that bus only starts running at 4:20 on weekdays, and doesn't run at all on weekends.) Calm blue water... must think of calm blue water....

Au naturale

Holy tostitos, Batman! I can't really believe the end of my treatment slog is really almost in sight. In a way, it's a little disorienting -- I've been trudging back and forth to Sloan-Kettering since January, so it's weird to imagine not going there except for my quarterly checkups. Now I understand why some women kind of get weirded out after treatment ends... I mean, your life has been structured around going to the hospital -- for tests, procedures, treatment, ER visits, etc. -- and suddenly that structure is gone.

Also, there's a superstitious part of my mind that says I can't possibly be diagnosed with something horrible (like another type of cancer, or a recurrence of this nasty thing) while I'm still under treatment, but once I'm not... well, I'll be gulping down tamoxifen but there's always this feeling of being vulnerable to attack again... It's a thought I normally try to shove far to the back of my mind, but every now and then it comes out for a stroll, like a persistent and particularly unpleasant panhandler.

On the other hand, tonight I realized that I only have 8 more sessions! (unless my radiation oncologist decides I need more zappage) Two more this week, 5 next week, and one last one (hopefully ONLY one) on the 19th. The next 3 sessions are the "widescreen" shots (sort of like the shotgun approach), while the last 5 sessions are focused upon the incision area (i.e., the rifle/sniper approach). The last week of "boost" shots will require a different machine than the one I'm using now, and consequently, another setup simulation session prior to starting.

Speaking of routines, on Wednesdays, I end a little earlier than usual (around 5-ish instead of 6-ish) since the radiation patients are treated earlier so that the machines can get their weekly maintenance. And then I don't see my Pearl of wisdom until almost 7 so I've discovered that this allows me the perfect amount of time to cruise through the tail end of the Union Square greenmarket. (Hence the photos today, above, of the little white Japanese turnips, which I plan to buy and then try sometime soon.)

Also, showing up near closing time frequently results in some last minute discounts such as the following from a vendor of leafy greens, who was yelling, "Chemical free! Pesticide free! Buy 2, get 1 free!" The bakeries sometimes slash their cookie prices to $1 each. Ha!

However, I was good (today at least) and confined myself to bell peppers (which are way cheaper here than in a supermarket) and exploring new varieties of apples.

Now I see why my friend Margaret told me (I think) that she is such a fan of Honeycrisp apples. WOW! They are amazing, as sweet and "explosively crisp" as their name implies. I am so going back for more after I kill off the 2 remaining ones in my bowl, especially since they are not in season for very long I believe. Oh, and ridiculously cheap at $1 or $1.50 per pound, too -- BONUS!

Since I overheard one woman exclaim with delight "Oh I love Macoun apples!" before proceeding to fling several into a bag, I thought I'd try that variety too. Ironically, they turn out to be one of the "parents" of the Honeycrisp but I find them less interesting than its offspring. The Macoun reminds me of the Red Delicious. Of course, it could just be that I am spoiled from being raised near the fabulous produce of Chinatown --> blase.

Wandering around, I also stumbled across this gigantic maitake mushroom, which retails for $25.00 per pound. With pricing like that, I wondered if they had some medicinal properties (no, not THAT way) and found that yes indeed, they are purported to retard tumor growth, and otherwise be not a friend of cancer. Tempting... Oh, and for scale, consider that the dark blob behind it is a milk crate. ( ! )

Speaking of stumbling, it's time for me to stumble off to bed after slathering on some hydrocortisone cream on my hideously purple skin -- 4 weeks of radiation has left me looking very bruised and leathery, and feeling mighty itchy. (Seeing it in the mirror kind of freaks me out actually.)

So I will put aside my newly arrived PaperBackSwap copy of Netherland to start another evening. (You have to wonder how much of a bump in sales the book received when President/Rock Star O mentioned that he was reading this novel...)

Fall Cleaning

No, not spring cleaning -- fall cleaning. Just as with making resolutions, I don't go in for the usual timetable (Feb-Mar for me, not Jan), though I've been told many people find fall a more refreshing time of year than spring.

This year's summer was not really too hot (hooray!) so there hasn't been a real change in temperatures to signal fall, but the cool weather (highs in the 60s) makes me happy (weatherwise, anyway) nonetheless. In other areas, I am kind of miserable, but those things (like climate change) are long term issues that I'm not really going to get into here at the moment.

All of that emotional turmoil and frustration, however, results in 2 things: insomnia (I've been awake for about an hour already -- and waking up when it's pitch dark, is depressing) and cleaning. Okay, maybe three things: insomnia, cleaning, and depression (insomnia --> fatigue --> depression; possibly also a combination of radiation --> fatigue --> depression).

Helpfully, The Container Store is having a fall shelving sale and their flat fee shipping rate in NYC is $25, which is practically the cost of taking a cab from the Chelsea store to my apartment. So I ordered a folding bookcase for the living room and shelves for my closet.

While I know that the first step in tidying things up is THROWING CRAP OUT (see carton above -- I did not photograph the 3 garbage bags of stuff destined for the trash and/or Housing Works) eventually, the remaining things should get tidied away instead of piled up in stacks.

Yes, as my VCR has not been hooked up since TiVo came home to live with me a few years ago, I decided it was time for my non-pre-recorded videotapes to leave home and find somewhere else to reside. My friend Sam also has the same problem (for a different reason -- BlueRay) and wondered aloud if there wasn't some way of recycling them. Well, asking a question like that in front of a librarian...

Voila! I discovered that there is a place which will dispose of small amounts of technotrash for you (businesses with large volumes of technotrash use different services). GreenDisk will take Zip drives (I have some at my mom's which store a whopping 250MB each -- buh-bye!), magnetic media, rechargeable batteries, etc. For $6.95 plus shipping (you can ship USPS media rate if it's all storage media such as VHS tapes) they will take care of it. Relief!

Evidently reading Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? is having an effect. Either that, or you could argue that I started reading it because I was finally ready to start purging more crap. Chicken and egg.

The bookcase is already pretty darn full of cooking-related materials. No wonder the top of that cabinet was overflowing before! The bottom flap (shelf) being up was my fault: I ordered the 3-shelf bookcase model instead of the hutch because I wanted to store some serving plates underneath the bottom shelf. However, the shelves are a bit short in height, so I couldn't fit the 3-ring binder or magazine files in, except if they were on the top. (which I may eventually do, if I reorganize my kitchen cabinets). Visually, I prefer the taller stuff on the bottom, with my bowls on top. (Finally, a place to store my star projects from my ceramics classes!) Plus, I can use the bowls to store potatoes, onions, etc.

The folding iron media center is actually being used in my closet to store linens, backpacks, and luggage. (Yes, I have been doing a lot of measuring lately, prior to ogling things in person and/or online.) I figure I can always move it out into the living room when I am finally ready to upgrade my makeshift media center into a more wall-unit-esque arrangement by buying (inexpensive) additional iron shelving.

Oh hey, my Fresh Direct delivery is here. My insomnia came in handy, since I ordered the early (6:30-8:00) slot, as I am out of coffee. Ah, Manhattan -- the land of almost instant gratification: I ordered the shelving at 1am and it arrived before noon!

Bleh

Happy birthday, Communist China! Today was the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, in honor of which, the Empire State Building was lit in red and yellow, the colors of their flag, both last night (when it was already October 1st in China) and tonight. Ain't it pretty?

Of course, some idiots had to weigh in (check out this Newsday article for details) on how dare they condone totalitarianism, blah blah blah. As my friend Sam succinctly put it tonight, "It's been 60 years. They should just get over it." And considering that the PRC currently holds over US$800 billion of our public debt, they should just put up or shut up. (Well, it WAS over US$1.2 trillion a year ago, but then, hey, the world economy imploded and now it's only worth $800B.)

I'd invited Sam over for dinner, since I still had a giant slab of pot roast left over from feeding my engineer this weekend. It tasted even better after some more time in the oven. And afterward, I had some rapidly ripening bananas which I decided to convert into baked banana doughnuts.

As part of the recipe, I also used up some light and dark brown sugar I had left over (I figured substituting 1/2 cup of dark for light didn't really matter), and the resulting color contrast amused me. (Yes, as we all know, I am easily amused.) The finished product resmbles and odd but not unpleasant mutant banana muffin/cookie hybrid.

The super-fluffy dough rose and most of the holes merged again, whereupon Sam made a comment which I found hilarious, and still has me bemused hours later.

Evidently this merged-hole phenomenon is not unusual in donut-making (especially if you are an inexperienced donut-maker, as I am) and brings to mind "an unfortunate sphincter-like resemblance" as Sam puts it. HA!

Me? I just thought they sort of resembled bagels, but once Sam made his observation, I could not put it out of my mind. Heh.

Earlier in the day, a friend from Pittsburgh was in town for her bi-weekly business meeting, so we went off to Ise for some lunch, although due to her meeting schedule, we missed out on the semi-secret Japanese-menu-only sushi specials.

Since their regular sushi/sashimi menu is quite reasonable (for sushi), we weren't too upset. I had the Sansyoku Don (see left) which had 9 pieces of sashimi (3 each of salmon, tuna, and yellowtail) over a bowl of sushi rice, while Lynne had the Maguro Sushi (left, further down) which had what I call the tuna trifecta: 9 pieces of tuna is various forms.

Each was less than $20, and after we hoovered them down (my first post-chemo sushi meal! hoorah!) we jointly attacked an order of crab shumai (see right).

And to balance out the fun aspects of my recovery from treatment (sushi's back!) the new phase -- radiation -- is starting to kick my a**. It's now about 4 weeks into radiation (18 down, 12 to go!) and I've noticed this week that I am really starting to drag, energywise, which is to be expected, from what I understand.

After all, once again, I am essentially mildly poisoning my body 5 days a week, and my body is rather tired from constantly repairing the damage. Oh well.

On the bright side, during yesterday's weekly check-in, my radiation oncologist (my engineer once became confused as to WHICH doctor I was referring to, since I see so many these days, so I try to be more specific now) was very pleasantly surprised at how I was doing and encouraged me to keep up my diligence re: twice daily slathering of Eucerin (think: palm-sized dollop).

Actually, it's a little unnerving how surprised she was! If this is okay, I'd hate to see really bad. I mean, right now, my upper left torso is bright red (a la bad sunburn) with parts of the skin turning a leathery dark brown (ick! eew!) and lots of itching, interspersed with intermittent sharp aches and pains in the region.

The pain is more the stabbing type -- like when you lift something too heavy -- as opposed to the residual pain from a muscle strain (after you lift something too heavy).

So yes, back to sleeping on my right side, and avoiding hugs from friends. (Did I mention that I yelped after my engineer's best friend hugged me good night recently? The poor man was startled -- as was I! Ouch!)

And speaking of long, seemingly endless slogs, here's the surrent state of the traffic circle outside my window. There IS actual (creeping) progress since the plywood walls have come down, and there is a sign posted with an actual estimated end date (in magic marker) of November 2009. However, considering the FIVE years it's taken to get to this stage, I will believe THAT when it actually happens.

And now, long past time for me to collapse. I was ready for bed 90 minutes ago, but hey, babbling on at length here actually takes some time, even though reading it takes mere minutes... only 12 more treatments left!