No pun intended, but good smut is hard work. Really, just like filming a "love" scene in a movie, writing smut seems much more fun-filled and glamorous than it actually is.
First, there are only so many ways to describe certain body parts without either (a) repetition, or (b) euphemisms that make me burst out laughing. I mean, if you get detailed at all, there are quite a few paragraphs to go where you describe, um, certain activities. And after 7 chapters, my readers have been quite vocal about wanting some action! Heh.
Secondly, logistical issues abound. You don't want to accidentally give your characters extra limbs or contort them into physically unlikely positions. I don't care if you work for Cirque du Soleil, some feats are simply not possible. Likewise, just as in a movie, continuity is key. Otherwise, an attentive reader will realize that you have given one participant two left arms. Since I am not writing for Star Trek or Babylon-5, this would not be helpful.
Why am I suddenly concerned about the problems or purple prose? Well, uh, remember how I mentioned that I've started to write fan fiction? (Criminal Minds is my only milieu, by the way.) I'm now up to 20,000 words, with 13,000+ hits this year, and 64 subscribers. (The photo above shows the statistical breakdowns the site provides to the author.)
Yes, 64 random strangers around the world have subscribed to my stories so far. Since I only subscribe to maybe THREE authors I'm kinda proud of that statistic. (There is a lot of dreck out there, as you can imagine.) The only downside is that now I'm afraid to read some of my favorite writers since I don't want to unintentionally absorb their ideas.
Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also known by another name: plagiarism. Oops.
In school, I always found that I did better in structured writing than "free topic essays" (i.e., write whatever you like, about anything you want; no guidance provided as to topic, format, etc.) which tended to make my mind go completely blank.
This is more like writing for a pre-established universe, a la Star Trek or Star Wars (a/k/a easier for first time writers like me). I'm enjoying the whole process of writing: outlining chapters, constructing imaginary homes with floor plans (more continuity concerns), considering where to end each chapter (I'm on 8 of 12+ for this particular story at the moment), and in general, building an overall framework for my characters to inhabit. Just ignore the part about them being from a TV show. ;)
Right now, I'm dealing with a nasty sore throat / cold / sinus congestion combination, so the behavior or my characters should be really interesting, since I'm feeling waaaaay loopy. (Can antibiotics make you lightheaded?)
And a visit to the dentist enlightened me as the the corollary of giant sinus headaches: toothaches. He showed me an x-ray where one of my molars is literally stabbing one of my sinuses with the roots of the tooth. No wonder my upper jaw hurts!
Yep, I'm a wreck. Took Friday off from work after the dental visit since (a) I felt like roadkill [coughing all night will do that to you], (b) wouldn't be productive at the office in that state anyway, and (c) the dentist told me I looked really run down [he's known me for over a decade -- he's allowed, heh] and that my cheek was all puffy and I sounded really congested. Translation: you're sick! go home! don't go out into the pouring rain and head to work!
There are many other things I need to catch you all up on, but I can only grasp one train of thought at a time in my head these days.
Huh. I've been awake for a whole three hours. Time for another nap.
THUD.
First, there are only so many ways to describe certain body parts without either (a) repetition, or (b) euphemisms that make me burst out laughing. I mean, if you get detailed at all, there are quite a few paragraphs to go where you describe, um, certain activities. And after 7 chapters, my readers have been quite vocal about wanting some action! Heh.
Secondly, logistical issues abound. You don't want to accidentally give your characters extra limbs or contort them into physically unlikely positions. I don't care if you work for Cirque du Soleil, some feats are simply not possible. Likewise, just as in a movie, continuity is key. Otherwise, an attentive reader will realize that you have given one participant two left arms. Since I am not writing for Star Trek or Babylon-5, this would not be helpful.
Why am I suddenly concerned about the problems or purple prose? Well, uh, remember how I mentioned that I've started to write fan fiction? (Criminal Minds is my only milieu, by the way.) I'm now up to 20,000 words, with 13,000+ hits this year, and 64 subscribers. (The photo above shows the statistical breakdowns the site provides to the author.)
Yes, 64 random strangers around the world have subscribed to my stories so far. Since I only subscribe to maybe THREE authors I'm kinda proud of that statistic. (There is a lot of dreck out there, as you can imagine.) The only downside is that now I'm afraid to read some of my favorite writers since I don't want to unintentionally absorb their ideas.
Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also known by another name: plagiarism. Oops.
In school, I always found that I did better in structured writing than "free topic essays" (i.e., write whatever you like, about anything you want; no guidance provided as to topic, format, etc.) which tended to make my mind go completely blank.
This is more like writing for a pre-established universe, a la Star Trek or Star Wars (a/k/a easier for first time writers like me). I'm enjoying the whole process of writing: outlining chapters, constructing imaginary homes with floor plans (more continuity concerns), considering where to end each chapter (I'm on 8 of 12+ for this particular story at the moment), and in general, building an overall framework for my characters to inhabit. Just ignore the part about them being from a TV show. ;)
Right now, I'm dealing with a nasty sore throat / cold / sinus congestion combination, so the behavior or my characters should be really interesting, since I'm feeling waaaaay loopy. (Can antibiotics make you lightheaded?)
And a visit to the dentist enlightened me as the the corollary of giant sinus headaches: toothaches. He showed me an x-ray where one of my molars is literally stabbing one of my sinuses with the roots of the tooth. No wonder my upper jaw hurts!
Yep, I'm a wreck. Took Friday off from work after the dental visit since (a) I felt like roadkill [coughing all night will do that to you], (b) wouldn't be productive at the office in that state anyway, and (c) the dentist told me I looked really run down [he's known me for over a decade -- he's allowed, heh] and that my cheek was all puffy and I sounded really congested. Translation: you're sick! go home! don't go out into the pouring rain and head to work!
There are many other things I need to catch you all up on, but I can only grasp one train of thought at a time in my head these days.
Huh. I've been awake for a whole three hours. Time for another nap.
THUD.
