Ephemera

Like a castle in the sand, I wrote a nice long post tonight, responding to recent comments, and...the app crashed and I lost it.

Clearly a sign to give it up and go to bed.

P.S.

Superstorm Sandy hit this spot near South Ferry a year ago on 10/30/12. Ciao!

Marvin The Martian

My Sis and bro-in-law's backyard faces protected wetlands (win!)
Extra points if you spot the 2/F birdhouse they installed

Sooooo...my sister is a butthead.*  (I revert to immature language when confronted with immaturity, apparently.) It's taken me quite a while to wrap my head around the idea that she really doesn't seem to care that she's systematically pissed off her entire family, to the point that we've each individually yelled at her.

Considering that we are the stereotypical "aim for consensus and harmony at all costs" Asian-American family, that takes sustained effort. But hey, my sister is always willing to apply elbow grease when and where it suits her.

Let's review everyone she's hurt, upset, and infuriated this past year, shall we?

Her three children and their spouses? Check! Check! And check!

Her only sibling? Yup.

Her late husband's sister? (He, like me, only had one sibling.) Ding! Ding! Ding!

Her only living parent? You betcha!

(In fact, my mom made the ultimate slam this week when she said,"Your sister is just like her father." [Technically, we're half-sisters on my mom's side, but we were raised together, more or less.] Considering my mom still hates her first husband with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, even 60 years later...Ouch!)

Since we are a very small family, Sis is literally batting 1.000.

Do I sound bitter? That's because I am bitter. Like a pot of coffee left on the burner too long.

I can't think too much about this at the moment, or my blood pressure will rise and I won't be able to get to sleep. Instead I'll just try to remember what my nephew calmly said,"She's made her decision and her priority is very clear."

Bah.

I'll just stick to playing with the babies in my family, and visiting my late brother-in-law's grave when I can (with other relatives).

Note the toy cars from his grandsons. - I miss you, big brother.

And in other news, I have not heard back from my oncologist about the MRI of my giant skull, so I guess no news is good news, since doctors are usually really prompt about bad news.

Now I need to go to sleep, since it's long past my bedtime, and I'll be on a new floor at work tomorrow, with the grand poobahs.

P.S. *It was unintentionally hilarious trying to explain the term "butthead" to my very correct, older German relatives.  "So do you remember the show 'Beavis and Butthead'? No? Oh well...let's see now..."

Equal Opportunity Offender

Normally when I go for my oncology checkups, it's in the breast cancer building. So it was really startling to go into one of the main MSKCC buildings for my MRI and be surrounded by a co-ed mixture of patients, in all shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnicities. Cancer is such an egalitarian bastard.

As predicted, I fell asleep during the actual MRI, despite the loud, STAR TREK phaser sounds constantly pinging around my head. (They gave me earplugs, and gently taped my head in place.) And afterward, the phlebotomist (blood tech) was superb with my already-punctured inner elbow, to draw a tube to analyze.

So it was physically painless, but I guess the test is still making me anxious, because despite telling myself repeatedly NOT to take the wrong subway home, I wound up in Queens instead of Harlem. Duh.

Won't know the results for a few days, I imagine. But as my sister pointed out, if there were anything REALLY wrong, I probably would've already heard back from my doctor by now. 

Ah, my sister.

I am in Connecticut, awaiting the weekend visit of my older niece and her daughter from Puerto Rico, where their whole family moved in May.  So I am staying with my sister and brother-in-law in their home.

Had a short, bitter argument with sis tonight after she called me a selfish, rude person, who constantly expects to be entertained. I yelled back that I was going to my room before I said something I'd regret.

Slamming the door created a satisfyingly loud bang.

And yes, the title of this post is equally applicable to her, since I am not the only person she's been so extremely gracious toward during the past year.

Swedish Squirrel

Hidden courtyard cafe in Malmo, Sweden (July 2012)

So yes, I am still alive, after a wonderful summer vacation in Sweden and Denmark during July 2012, and two trips this year to out west: Colorado in March 2013, and Wyoming in August 2013. (Many more photos at some other date.)

And yes, there is an apparently endless series of various medical tests scheduled for me in the next year. Some are routine (bone density, mammo) and one, not so much (recent liver sonogram, some kind of uterine test if & when my next period ever arrives, and an upcoming MRI for my brain). 

The liver sonogram was because I have elevated levels of certain proteins and enzymes (ex: if the normal range should be 1-31 mg/L, I had 57) after 4 years of tamoxifen.[BONUS ROUND: I realized today that I had miscalculated mt tamoxifen schedule, and I actually have ANOTHER YEAR to go. Bah!] The uterine test can only be done if my damn period ever arrives (I forget the reason now, but it made sense at the time) -- personally I want it to NEVER COME BACK, but who the hell knows?

The upcoming MRI is due to have occasional rounds of dizziness, especially upon the first bite of food. Since my blood sugar levels do not appear to be pre-diabetic, AND I'm having some vision problems, well, 2 neurological symptoms = 100% chance of brain MRI.  There's a slot available this coming Wednesday, October 16th, at 8:00 AM. After the radiologist interprets the results and confers with my oncologist, THEN, I will hear the news.

Since I am not claustrophobic, and am relaxed enough during these scans that I have fallen asleep in the past, it's not the test itself that worries me. Nope, it's the fact that this time, they're scanning my HEAD, the seat of what makes me, ME. And as unlikely as a brain tumor would be, my college friend Ellen discovered that she'd had a golf-ball-sized one in her head! (Luckily, it was operable, and she is fine now.)

Okay, enough for now. Time for bed, since one of my resolutions lately (more on those some other time) is to get ENOUGH rest, especially since stress has caused me to wake up in the pre-dawn hours, along with eating more heathily.

Farmers market in Stockholm, Sweden (July 2012)