My Inner Teenager Is Back: Alice & Resident Evil

Thanks Google! I certainly couldn't remember the sequence.

I've always had a not-so-sneaking fondness for the Resident Evil movie franchise, and am happy to leave it on in the background if I surf across it on TV. (I say "the background" because if a show or film is not on Netflix, Amazon, or a movie channel, the sheer number of commercials usually leaves me fed up and multi-tasking instead.)

I much prefer this poster over the one
actually used in US movie theaters.

A large part of my fondness for the films stems from the fact that Alice (Milla Jovovich) is clearly capable and takes no crap from anyone, while at the same time having a sense of humor and not taking herself [or the films] too seriously. As this highly enjoyable Slate article, How the Resident Evil Movies Became the Longest-Running Video Game Series of All Time, points out: there are few action film series with strong female leads besides Ripley in Alien. [Note: I disagree with the author's example of Katniss Everdeen, since she spends much of the Hunger Games movies deciding how to react to plans made by others for her -- usually males -- whereas Alice will ruin her opponents' game plans without the slightest hesitation, and usually leave them bleeding or dead.] There's also Selene in the Underworld series. Selene & Underworld, however, have ZERO sense of humor.

Also, with the infuriating stream of insanity issuing forth from that maniac in DC during the past week (only his first week! I may stroke out by the end of his term), I was definitely in the mood for some major zombie mayhem and the expenditure of large quantities of ordnance.

No, I really have NO idea what this says.
Yes, my Chinese IS that bad.

RE: The Final Chapter begins with an expository prologue explaining how the zombie apocalypse happened (although ironically, the word "zombie" is NEVER used in the films) and part of the explanation contradicts characters in an earlier RE movie (which IMDB informs me was RE: Apocalypse). However, on the whole, the prologue -- like the film itself -- remains consistent with the events and feel of the series.

Oh WAIT -- I forgot: before the film started (but after all of the trailers ended), there was a charming little video greeting to the audience from star Milla Jovovich, and writer/ director/ husband Paul W.S. Anderson. They thanked the filmgoers for joining them and their crew on the 15-year journey with Alice (yes, it's been THAT long). That was sweet -- unlike 95% of everything that occurs thereafter, heheheheh.

Speaking of which, also returning for additional carnage are Ali Larter (as Clare Redfield) and Iain Glen as that wacky mad scientist dude (better known to Game of Thrones viewers as poor Sir Jorah Mormont), the Red Queen (whom I now know is the daughter of star & director, thanks to that fab Slate article linked above), and the suuuuuper cheesy blond Albert Wesker character. "Yay, team!"

The only quibble I had with an otherwise highly enjoyable popcorn movie (that is, presuming you like the series already) is the frenetic camerawork: all of that herking & jerking around made me VASTLY GRATEFUL that I did not opt for the 3D experience.  Since camera-on-a-pogo-stick movements during the fight scenes already made my eyes want to cross, I thought the 3D would've made me want to grab somebody's popcorn bucket and hurl!

The only other movie I had that problem with was (UGH) The Blair Witch Project, where I was too busy trying not to barf to be at all creeped out by the late night shenanigans in the woods.

But back to Alice & Co: since I am not a gamer myself, I had not considered what two of my doormen told me, that the jerky camera movements were deliberate, in order to mimic the video game experience. In fact, one of my "tech advisors" [hee!]  said using the 3D glasses might've immersed me more fully into the gaming style.  Huh, never thought of it that way...

Back In Ye Olden Days with Renno

Another recovery from the draft files....this one's from Nov-2013, with all links checked and the goofy text polished a bit:

As most of you know, I am easily amused, so every Amtrak trip, when the train to Montreal passes Ticonderoga, New York, I get a little giggly, since it invariably reminds me of the classic No. 2 pencils of my childhood and adolescence. [I bet today’s school kids don’t even fill out those endless circles on Scantron forms any more. Being childfree, I have no idea WHAT they do for exams and standardized tests any longer.]

Somewhere in upstate NY. Purty, no?

And in the classic way that my mind works (don't ask) this particular trip I started reminiscing about a historical fiction series I read as an pre-teen, Renno the White Indian, by Donald Clayton Porter. I read through a significant chunk of the series (Colonization of America: White Indian, published 1979 - 1996), but as bad as my memory may be, I am positive that I did NOT read all 28 books. Nine or 10 maybe, but not all the way through to 1996.

I remember loving the historical background, but am afraid to revisit the novels in case the actual writing turns out to be mediocre at best.  However, Goodreads rated the first book 4.18 out of 5 stars, so maybe it's safe to go back and reread it from the start...in my copious free time.

There is a fascinating blog post about the history of the book series itself, Forgotten Books: White Indian -- Donald Clayton Porter (Noel Gerson)  and thanks to Noel Gerson's Wikipedia entry, I am enlightened as to how I wound up reading about Renno & Co: I'd started off with the author's entire 24-book Wagons West series under his Dana Fuller Ross pseudonym. (For blurbs about each of the first 20 books in Wagons West, click here.)

Okay, now totally blogged out and Imma go watch a movie on HBO Go (cancelling arbitrarily assigned premium movie channels would've saved me all of $6+ per month on my cable bill, so hey, I kept 'em).

Test Transmission

Found this DRAFT post from Jul 5, 2015 (yes really) which seems handy to use as a test message to check if my auto-email delivery feature still works (you know who you are). If you receive it, please reply to my gmail account. For all I know, I don't even have your correct e-mail addresses any longer!

Real life is currently like a freakish trip to Man In The High Castle territory, so let us move onto a more cheerful topic. Namely, Amelia! (BTW, that previous link to a UK newspaper's Dec. 16, 2016 article has spoilers for S2).

Amelia is a fluffy, affectionate, "medium-haired" cat, (now) approximately 4-1/2 years old, according to Animal Care Centers of NYC (rebranded from Animal Care & Control of NYC, i.e., the pound). She was surrendered by her former family when they moved to a no-pets building (those a**hats), along with her non-littermate sister Temperance. (Temperance was put to sleep the day after I adopted Amelia, unfortunately.) Now that we have moved back home from Mom's apartment (CeCeCat's home territory) both girls are getting along well, to my VAST relief.

Here are photos taken of Miss Fluffykins (a\k\a Fuzzy Mittens) in my home, shortly after her adoption on June 20, 2015.

And yes, at some point, we'll have a post devoted to CeCe's life history, all 2-1/2 years of it, including how she got her name.

Love & purrs, 

your local crazy cat lady

Movie Reviews from My Inner Teenager

First of all, yes, I'm still alive. 2016 was a brutal year, both personally (with the passing of my non-smoking mother from lung cancer, so I finally took a 2 month "rest cure" from work) and publicly (with the election of the Orange Clown -- coulrophobia will be even more rampant for me for the next four years).

Not surprisingly, escapism has held great appeal lately, so I've been making up for lost time over the holidays and letting my inner geek run wild at the movie theaters. (Geeky Squirrel been very gleeful.)

DOCTOR STRANGE

Benedict Cumberbatch + Mads Mikkelsen = take my money!

Asked my friend Marci to go with me since we saw it right after Xmas and it's been out since Nov. 4th. In other words, there was only one theater in Manhattan that was showing it at any time other than 10pm. I really wanted to see it in a theater because I'd heard there were some truly psychedelic SFX in the film (consider the era when the character was created). Plus, good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes: Benedict Cumberbatch and Mads Mikkelsen rarely turn in bad and/or dull performances.

As it turned out, I could have done with less of the Inception-esque CGI (yes, me – eye candy junkie) and a little more with work on the script for various characters' motivations. Seriously, a few minutes less of VFX and a corresponding increase in nuance would have been both immensely cheaper financially and more emotionally/psychologically rewarding in terms of payoff.

I mean you KNOW it's bad when I start mentally interpolating what my Mom's probable analysis of Kaecilius‘ (Mikkelsen) motives would have been for palling around with the god/demon (?) Dormammu (since the movie never gave us any) -- while I was still watching the movie!

When the being you follow starts to dissolve
your eyes? Yeah, generally not a GOOD omen.

Various fansites have speculated one way; I've extrapolated another, and then there's the whole "what's up with the Ancient One?" issues. [We are NOT even going to go into why an Asian male character was recast by Wonder Bread Hollywood as a Celtic woman. PAH.]

And I know this isn't Macbeth (which I sooooooo need to watch), but why does the most (entertainingly) egotistical, selfish, and abrasive neurosurgeon decide to become a protective guardian using his fabulous new occult powers? Or if the study of the mystic arts really helped him “grow as a person” (yes, you can hear my eyes rolling) to the point where he'd step in, I must've blinked and missed it.

But these are minor quibbles. For what I went in expecting – spectacular visuals, sorcerous battles, entertaining training montages, an origin story – it delivered quite respectably. Bonus points for Hong Kong location shooting.

STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE

Donnie Yen + Mads Mikkelsen = happy camper!

Rogue One (think of it as Episode III.5) was vastly more satisfying than the fluffy The Force Awakens (Episode VII), which I found immediately forgettable, barring the Kylo Ren temper tantrums and hilarious memes.

If it weren't midnight, I'd go into vast detail about why everything is better in Ep. III.5 (or maybe I just like Jyn Erso better than Rey -- though they are both GALAXIES better than anything in the dreck of Episodes I - III). Instead, I will just say that two Mads movies in one month just sent my non-existent ovaries into hyperdrive. DANG.

Photo Source: Spanish GQ

ASSASSIN'S CREED

Michael Fassbinder shirtless, kicking ass with sexy martial arts? I AM SO THERE!!!

One blog is hilariously succinct with their post, Putting the Sin in Assassin complete with hubba-hubba, shirt-free publicity still.

If I had any brain cells left at this hour, I would write down everything I pondered during my two screenings -- yes, Miss Scrimpy With Her Money And Time saw Assassin TWICE -- of this delectable actionfest. (I am, after all, a proud geek, with a bazillion science fiction movie arguments honed over the decades.) But that will have to wait for another post.

Have some "guns" and a crossbow as a placeholder.