So believe it or not, I actually have been knitting occasionally. See? This is from a long ago purchased skein of Reynolds Andean Alpaca Regal Bulky. I am knitting a backing to the oddball of Debbie Bliss Alpaca Silk which I turned into a skinny scarf this winter. (The other 2 balls of Debbie Bliss became a beaded scarf Xmas present for my friend Jane.) The goal is to sew the 2 sides together so my scarf quits curling up.Also for your amusement are 2 Lego versions of myself which I created using a link sent to me by my friend Margaret.
While I did these a few months ago, I am of the firm opinion that oceans of blathering should always be leavened by bright shiny objects (a/k/a graphics). I think that the grey hair, glasses, hideous (school colors) scarf, spatula, and low fat baking cookbook are quite representative of my hobbies and background. Alas, the buns are for my frumpier (and/or more earnest) days. The smirk is for always. Heh.
And although I love baking, I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that I should perhaps take it easy and not whip up so much stuff (yes, Ms. Jackie, you're right) since I should give my upper arm areas a rest. I never realized how much I rely on my left side, even though I am a right-handed person (we'll just ignore the no-longer remembered portion of my childhood when I was a lefty -- until my mother beat it out of me: Chinese people are superstitious, as you may know, and lefthandedness is severely frowned upon).
Think about it: while you are using your right hand to manipulate whatever utensil (spatula, hand mixer, etc.) with your finer motor skills, you use your left hand for more strength-oriented tasks such as holding the mixing bowl, lifting the [cast iron] skillet to dish out food, etc. Perhaps not the best use of my enforced disability leave, eh? (Duh!)
Also, I am trying to wean myself from the classic kitchen sink approach to handbags: reading for the subway, knitting for a visit to my sweetie, something for my mom/his parents when we visit, things I might need "just in case", etc. Just because I carry an anvil on the right side, doesn't mean it won't affect my left side. (Yes, I may be book smart -- despite the double negative -- but that doesn't mean I am endowed with a wealth of common sense.)
I must admit that I am (guiltily) enjoying my disability leave. The guilty part is because is I don't horribly ill (yet -- just wait for chemo) so I feel that I should be working, especially since my department has been severely cut, but the rational portion of my brain knows I need to rest and not jostle my boob and left arm. (By the way, although I am too squeamish to look at, much less take photos of, my incisions, one blogger has more fortitude. Her photo of a healthy incision is here -- the gap on my boob looks NOTHING like this, unfortunately.)
Can't remember if it was her or someone else, but it is true that in a roundabout way, my breast cancer has wrought some good things in my life:
- I am finding out how thoughtful and generous the vast majority of my friends are, and how sweet my family can be -- always a good thing to know and appreciate. And I have been touched by all of the messages of support and caring from them, my co-workers, my fellow pottery nuts, and just the genuinely nice staff at Sloan-Kettering (even the patient billing guy is nice!)
- I am getting better at listening to my body. If I am tired, or something hurts, perhaps I should, oh...go to sleep? Take a nap? Quit lifting heavy objects? (Like I said, I can be brilliant sometimes.)
- I am learning what's really important. My friends and family are important. My job is important in the sense that it gives me medical coverage (THANK GAWD!!) and helps exercise my mind, but if I get laid off, I will deal with it (though yes, the idea does give me some anxiety) and pay for COBRA with my savings. I may be a little in the hole financially at the moment, but I'll live (and believe me, cancer gives you a whole new appreciation for that phrase!) and I'll figure out a non-Madoff way of handling it. If I haven't tackled all of my mail backlog yet, hey, I've still done some, and I can do more in the days to come.
So okay, I've gained 6 lbs. since the diagnosis (4 lbs. since the surgery) due to lack of exercise (I cannot tell you how much the idea of bouncing around during aerobic exercise makes me CRINGE) but eventually I'll be cleared to exercise and I'll tackle the weight issue. At least WW has trained me to eat better in general, which is always a good thing, especially as a basis for convalescence. (Which reminds me: I need to go find some anti-cancer nutrition books. Sigh.)
Speaking of chemo, the oncologist says that I will not lose all of my hair (then again, I happen to be in the 10%-20% of patients with problematic hematomas) although it will thin and/or probably fall out in patches. I try to cheer myself up with the thought that I can knit myself up a snazzy hat for my giganto head. Pattern suggestions anyone?
