Back In Ye Olden Days with Renno

Another recovery from the draft files....this one's from Nov-2013, with all links checked and the goofy text polished a bit:

As most of you know, I am easily amused, so every Amtrak trip, when the train to Montreal passes Ticonderoga, New York, I get a little giggly, since it invariably reminds me of the classic No. 2 pencils of my childhood and adolescence. [I bet today’s school kids don’t even fill out those endless circles on Scantron forms any more. Being childfree, I have no idea WHAT they do for exams and standardized tests any longer.]

Somewhere in upstate NY. Purty, no?

And in the classic way that my mind works (don't ask) this particular trip I started reminiscing about a historical fiction series I read as an pre-teen, Renno the White Indian, by Donald Clayton Porter. I read through a significant chunk of the series (Colonization of America: White Indian, published 1979 - 1996), but as bad as my memory may be, I am positive that I did NOT read all 28 books. Nine or 10 maybe, but not all the way through to 1996.

I remember loving the historical background, but am afraid to revisit the novels in case the actual writing turns out to be mediocre at best.  However, Goodreads rated the first book 4.18 out of 5 stars, so maybe it's safe to go back and reread it from the start...in my copious free time.

There is a fascinating blog post about the history of the book series itself, Forgotten Books: White Indian -- Donald Clayton Porter (Noel Gerson)  and thanks to Noel Gerson's Wikipedia entry, I am enlightened as to how I wound up reading about Renno & Co: I'd started off with the author's entire 24-book Wagons West series under his Dana Fuller Ross pseudonym. (For blurbs about each of the first 20 books in Wagons West, click here.)

Okay, now totally blogged out and Imma go watch a movie on HBO Go (cancelling arbitrarily assigned premium movie channels would've saved me all of $6+ per month on my cable bill, so hey, I kept 'em).

Vocabulary Words

I have no idea what this trippy [though delightful] photo is,
 but clearly my iphone6 was awake at the wheel when I wasn't.

So my new favorite word of the year is oophorectomy (which I mentioned recently). Today was my pre-surgical testing day: bloodwork, EKG (ECG? the one where they tape electrodes to your pulse points), chest x-ray, lots and lots of medical questionnaires, etc. The anesthesiology nurse was interested to hear that I am really cheap date: after previous procedures, I'd wake up long after their estimates.

Medical Staff: [Ms. Squirrel] should be awake in about 45 minutes.

[Two hours later. . .] "Um . . . you may now join her in the recovery room."

There's some technical term for this, but of course, I've totally forgotten it, since I have truly sucky recall these days. (chemo brain + menopausal fog + stress = what did you say?) In any case, it's a genetic trait, since Squirrelmom and Squirrelsis are the same way -- the anesthesia, not the forgetfulness.

Say "HI!" to either Patience or Fortitude --
 I never know which NYPL lion is which.
In any case, I really need both of their qualities these days!

The red letter day will be February 14th (hee! loving the irony) since the surgeon only operates on Saturdays and that was the first slot (pun intended) available when I asked in January. I'll be under general anesthesia, but it will be a laparoscopic removal, so no giant incision (yay!) -- just 3 small ones instead.

We'll skip over the giant pre-op checklist they gave me, except to say that I agreed to donate an extra vial of blood towards research, a small enough way to pay it forward. [Squirrelsis and I were also taking care of paperwork at the bank today, so I had lots of practice following the "sign here . . . and here . . . and here" instructions.]

The 7 test tubes of blood also allowed me to rationalize a protein & iron-rich dinner at The Comfort of deviled eggs and fried chicken livers, washed down by 1911 hard cider and lots of water. Yep, gentrification of Grand Street on the Lower East Side is not all bad. (CeCeCat [a\k\a TripleC, a la my friend Sussi] also wins from the arrival of Pet Island II.)

As much as I love the 2 ladies pictured below, I am WILDLY EXCITED to have a few days off after my surgery: my sister is kidnapping Mom for a week, and my co-worker D. is thrilled to be catsitting the Pinball Pussycat again for that same week. (My incisions are going to be small, but they still won't appreciate a 7+ lb. cat trampolining off my belly.)

Another thing I am looking forward to? My chemically induced, super annoying, peri-menopause will be converted into a permanent, biological, post-menopausal state. SO YES!

Snugglebuddies: Squirrelmom, TripleC, and twice-repaired Monkey.

My stalwart friend Marci will be accompanying me to and from the procedure at Sloan-Kettering, and then I will only have to use 4 PTO days after the Presidents' Day holiday to get a whole week off ( or 9 days, if you count the weekends and outpatient operation day itself).

Now I only have to get through 8 more workdays before I have a vacation. (Yes, my life is THAT thrilling, such that recovering from a medical procedure counts as decadent idleness!) So I'd better get to sleep before I snarl and bite someone's head off in the morning conference call.

Note to self: This had better NOT be my Out Loud Voice!

US$70M? Really?

blackhat

(suggested alternate titles: Interns Gone Wild; Miami Vice Goes to Hong Kong)

Rotten Tomatoes, I will never, ever, doubt your 31% Tomatometer rating again.

For a film with a reported US$70M budget, evidently none of it was spent on any of the following:

• a focus puller - an endless succession of blurry shots? really? REALLY??
• a Steadicam operator - the first film since BLAIR WITCH PROJECT whose jerky handheld shots made me seriously wonder if I was going to toss my cookies before it ended
• any dolly tracks - see: perennially bumpy footage, above; painful bonus round: when the camera operator was obviously running with the actors
• an editor who was willing to smack Michael Mann upside da hayed - and tell him to trim numerous shots throughout the 2-hr, 13-min movie
• a screenwriter who didn't fail his Remedial Character Motivations 101 class - at one point Chris Hemsworth's character  uttered such a "me Tarzan, you Jane" line that I could hear the people in the row behind us snort audibly (more on those fellow filmgoers later, since they were HILARIOUS), whereas other characters have a single line of dialogue each to explain their actions.

I could go on, but I need to go to bed soon, except to say when I explained to my much younger friend who saw this disaster with me that: no, really, Michael Mann was a generally respected director, her reply was that CLEARLY he let the intern direct the movie.

Her excellent suggestion as to what ACTUALLY became of the $70M production budget also deserves to be repeated: "Hookers and blow, my friend. Hookers and blow." 

PACING

The movie opened promisingly with a gripping sequence set in a Hong Kong nuclear reactor. After that, it was all downhill.

Normally, I hate superfast cuts and edits which make it hard to see what's going on, but I literally spent much of the movie silently thinking "OK, lose 10 seconds here, and 15 secs there, and..." There was a lot of flabby footage in blackhat. And I mean A LOT.

For example, there were several scenes where the audience follows various Hong Kong SWAT team members and cops running across tarmac, docks, tunnels, helipads, etc. etc. Then there are the lovely night scenes of various boats zooming across Victoria Harbor (which made me wonder when Crockett and Tubbs were going to show up). We GET IT: they're on the move...unlike the story!  Which brings me to. . . 

PLOT

Do I know what it is? Do I even care??

There was one particular moment involving a NSA software program which caused my friend and I -- and the entire row behind us -- to burst out laughing. Trust me, that was NOT the reaction Mr. Mann was going for in that scene.
 

"Excuse me, but can I erase this film from my resume?"

OTHER MUSINGS

I had a lot of downtime in this movie to think about. . . 

Mandarin vs. Cantonese - The authorities in HK speak Mandarin (i.e., they are from Beijing). The local first responders all speak Cantonese (accurate). There are several extended scenes in Chinese (with well-translated subtitles), and numerous Chinese co-stars such as TANG Wei and Leehom WANG. With almost all of the events set in HK, Malaysia, and Indonesia, clearly this film is aiming for the Greater China market, as well as most of Asia. Maybe it will do better there. . .

Viola Davis is, as always, riveting. I also had time to notice various Criminal Minds guest stars and former CSI regulars (like I said, LOTS of downtime!) such as:

• Archie Kao
• Spencer Garrett
• William Mapother
• Holt McCallany - double dipping: he was also a recurring character on CSI: Miami

OKAY FEZZIK, I WILL SUM UP

It was a good thing I had specific expectations going into blackhat, or I would have been sorely disappointed:

• eye candy - Chris "Thor" Hemsworth is very pretty, and just can't help looking like a fabulously glamorous movie star -- a thought I kept having as his character traipsed without rousing any notice throughout southeast Asia...you know, where everyone is about a foot shorter than him, with black hair and brown eyes. *snort* I was contented with his screen time, and all of the highly attractive Asian actors sprinkled thoughout, but my friend complained about insufficient shirtlessness. Heh.
• armchair tourism - it was indeed like revisiting Hong Kong, without any of the attendant crowding, heat, or humidity - lots of scenes in the night markets, Kowloon, the harbor, the skyline, etc. etc. While the travel show sloooooowed down the movie, it allowed me to indulge in nostalgia, sans 13-hour plane flight. Bonus tours of Indonesia and Malaysia included at no extra cost. (Did I mention that I saw this flick for half price? Mercifully.)
• unexpected fringe benefit: SnarkAlec fodder - my friend and I (and the people in the row behind us) were already snarking in the mostly empty theater, and I heartily recommend gathering a group of friends -- whether tech savvy people, action movie fans, Miami Vice afficionados, or ex-Hong Kongers -- with copious amounts of booze, once this thing hits video.   

And finally, Deadline Hollywood has already come out with a post-mortem: Legendary’s Michael Mann Pic ‘Blackhat': What The Hell Happened? whose URL alone is worth a giggle -- http://deadline.com/2015/01/blackhat-michael-mann-chris-hemsworth-universal-legendary-box-office-bomb-1201353487/

Totally inconspicuous Viking, bundled up in the tropics

Back To Nature

NOTE: I originally started this entry almost 2 weeks ago on Nov. 8th. Whoops!

Nov. 8th - BACK TO NATURE . . . by which I mean I am currently travelling through gorgeous countryside near the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York via Amtrak, and my cell phone frequently has NO bars. (What did you expect? I grew up in a NYC Housing Authority project. It’s highly unlikely I’d be going camping . . . although the concept does hold a certain exotic appeal, come to think of it.)

All of this fabulous natural beauty has helped me be zen about my inability to finish my wildly overdue quarterly billing (I am literally THE last person in our division holding up the quarterly reports) due to the pathetically poor wi-fi service on the train. [I am writing this in Word, and then pasting it over later.] That spotty connectivity, plus the ancient laptop issued to me by my company (it was assigned to several other users before me, so do the math) have rendered logging into the network impossible.

Hence, zen.

I mean, just LOOK at this, somewhere on Lake Champlain . . . how could you remain unmoved by this?

Nov, 12th - BACK TO LIFE . . . BACK TO REALITY

Everybody who remembers Soul II Soul from the late 1980s, raise their hand.

The portion above the photo was written on my way north to Montreal, on Friday, November 8th. Now, I’m on my way south, returning to NYC. Taking a leaf, er, cue from my earlier trip, I’m just gonna go zen and resign myself to no wi-fi unless I move to the café car, which is frequently closed for periodic cleaning, despite being very tidy (my translation? don’t mess with the unions and their work break rules). At those points, I’d have to move my laptop back to my seat. So as they say in New Yawk, fuggedaboudit (translation for my Europals: forget about it).

Besides, I sense a nap soon with my handy dandy, (relatively) new, buckwheat hull-filled, U-shaped neck pillow. Woot!

Yep, those inflatable pillows are kind of annoying, and between two 11-hour Amtrak journeys, and next April’s roundtrip to Amsterdam (WOOHOO!) I figured I could splurge on a nice firm travel pillow for US$20 and more storage in my already cluttered home. Since I remember that memory foam traps your body heat (and I already get hot flashes) I opted for the buckwheat filling – and its minute potential for air circulation – instead.

Oh boy. I’d forgotten just how much rambling I did in my blog. Hope my stream of consciousness musings aren’t giving y’all whiplash.

[Sidenote: making it out of Canada just in time, as it’s snowing, and this morning was “my ears hurt, and face is frozen” weather. My ears may stick out from decades of eyeglass wearing, but I do prefer them to remain attached to my giant head.]

[insert nap: here! heheheheheh]

Nov. 12th - THREADING THE NEEDLE (AFTER A NAP)

Speaking of my giant head, we arrive back at the ever expanding list of potential health concerns. (Yeah, middle age pretty much sucks that way.) While my noggin, as I’ve mentioned before, is biologically disease free (note the word “biologically” >> after the laughter dies down, let’s have a hearty “BOY HOWDY!”) apparently my liver is not so lucky.

Despite having a cholesterol level of a mere 187 (WIN! and my triglycerides are low, and. . . ) the past few rounds of blood tests at Sloan Kettering AND my annual physical have shown elevated levels of certain liver proteins. One of the causes of THAT could have been my tamoxifen regime (4 years down, 1 more to go). Ergo, my oncologist ordered a liver ultrasound this summer.

I never got much detail about the ultrasound results from the oncologist, but my primary care physician was not pleased by them and mentioned some medical term I didn't catch, but which he explained involved fatty deposits in my liver, which -- if left unchecked -- can lead to cirrhosis. Ummm....ICK! I mean, check out this photo for a visual of what a liver cross-section would look like.

So the upshot is that I will need to [1] change my diet to a low-fat regimen, since I can't just up and stop taking tamoxifen, and [2] gradually* lose some weight, since obesity is also a possible contributing factor to non-alcholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD). Plus, my knees will be happier carrying around an extra 30 pounds. *Ironically, rapid weight loss exacerbates NAFLD.

[insert another nap: here! I love long train rides. . . ]

Nov. 19th - CUT!

Okay, in the interests of finally publishing this meandering ramble, I've chopped off the last (and unfinished) section for a future post, and am ending THIS post:  [here].

Doing It Right

Rhinebeck 2012 - a\k\a The NY State Sheep & Wool Festival
Yes, last year, but the yarn porn is still luscious.

There is an account on Twitter named Cat Food Breath written by some hilarious human from their cat's point of view. I laughed when s/he tweeted, "If you're home on Saturday night with your cat, you're doing it right." So yeah, I'm doing it right.

Honestly, I'm very happy to be here, chilling out with Emily, my face-palming yoga kitty.  She is a calm and affectionate cat, very quiet, who rarely meows unless she's accidentally locked out (oops -- then she lets loose an unearthly yowl at tremendous volume [my mom found that story hilarious] ) or when I'm about to feed her some of her new wet food (Nature's Variety Instinct, which is 95% meat and US-sourced) made from rabbit, venison, or lamb -- she seems to have become allergic to the duck. Ironically, the SPCA recommended the duck because she was allergic to who-knows-what, most likely chicken and fish.

Yes, I know, I sound like the crazy about my cat lady. To seal the deal, here is a photo of her, since she had not entered my life yet when I stopped writing in here in May of 2011. (Her adoptaversary is Sept. 16, 2011.)

"I can't believe mom is watching Criminal Minds AGAIN."

Emmy has been a godsend during my transition to working at home 80% of the time, since her undemanding companionship has kept me from completely losing what's left of my mind.

Our company has decreed that my team may have 2 full-time cubes for 7 people. Yes, really. When we go in once a week, we have to book a hotel space (read: cubicle) somewhere in the building. Yes, that is indeed a total pain in the patootie.  Part of my depression this summer may stem from the isolation, since as my friend Marci pointed out, I am one of the most social people she knows, and SHE used to work in theater!

So at the suggestion of my friend Dale, I am bumping it up to TWO consecutive days a week, for the sake of both logistics and my sanity. That way I can lock up the laptop overnight and not have to haul it around constantly, schedule meetings over 2 different work days, meet some friends for lunch, etc. There is also something to be said for actual face-to-face contact to transmit info. E-mail has its limits, as does my inbox. Plus, I need to remember how to act among my corporate cohorts (good point Dale) since I was turning into a total slob: it took 4 months, but I did devolve into working in my PJs.

Rhinebeck, October 2012 -
what Central Park is starting to look like only NOW...in November!

Speaking of digging my way out from under, evidently my long, rational discussion with my new brother-in-law (for the sake of brevity, I will refer to him henceforth as BIL#2) had only alleviated my anger at my sister briefly. BIL#2 and I carefully and diplomatically discussed the causes of my door-slamming outburst the morning after it happened. BIL#2 seems like a reasonable person, and his family are lovely salt-of-the-earth Brooklynites, who sound nothing like Bugs Bunny. Coincidentally, I noticed that I was notably calmer at work the next week, because I had finally, after a YEAR, gotten to express some of my feelings.

My furious outburst in my recent post (which represented MY feelings, not everyone else's) made me realize I'm still a long way from over my frustration with my sister. The rest of my family has probably worked out their issues long ago, but it's taken me a long time to get to this point (i.e., acknowledging that I'm STILL really angry since we went from being very close to "I might as well not have a sibling" ).      

And last but not least, my MRI found no trace of cancer in my giant skull. Many thanks to my friend Ellen for bugging me to finally call my oncologist.  For some reason, onco-doc had forgotten to call me back with the results, even though she had sent the info to my GP, whom I saw for part 1 of my annual physical on Thursday. Monday I'm going back to my ophthalmologist for a follow-up about my crazy, lazy eyeballs, that have been giving me headaches. (And people wonder why I want to haul back and clock the asshat Republicans who try to kill Obamacare.)

But to prove that a healthy cerebellum does not necessarily equate to good taste, here's a photo of my guilty pleasure heartthrob (ever since the early 1990s-- hey, I'm consistent!) from his new movie and directorial debut, MAN OF TAI CHI. Considering Karen Mok and Simon Yam are both in it as well, I may have to buy this, since it's legally available online via my cable company.

Not bad for a 49 year old, eh?

And NOW, time to set all the clocks back and enjoy an extra hour of sleep tonight. WOOHOO!

Ephemera

Like a castle in the sand, I wrote a nice long post tonight, responding to recent comments, and...the app crashed and I lost it.

Clearly a sign to give it up and go to bed.

P.S.

Superstorm Sandy hit this spot near South Ferry a year ago on 10/30/12. Ciao!

Marvin The Martian

My Sis and bro-in-law's backyard faces protected wetlands (win!)
Extra points if you spot the 2/F birdhouse they installed

Sooooo...my sister is a butthead.*  (I revert to immature language when confronted with immaturity, apparently.) It's taken me quite a while to wrap my head around the idea that she really doesn't seem to care that she's systematically pissed off her entire family, to the point that we've each individually yelled at her.

Considering that we are the stereotypical "aim for consensus and harmony at all costs" Asian-American family, that takes sustained effort. But hey, my sister is always willing to apply elbow grease when and where it suits her.

Let's review everyone she's hurt, upset, and infuriated this past year, shall we?

Her three children and their spouses? Check! Check! And check!

Her only sibling? Yup.

Her late husband's sister? (He, like me, only had one sibling.) Ding! Ding! Ding!

Her only living parent? You betcha!

(In fact, my mom made the ultimate slam this week when she said,"Your sister is just like her father." [Technically, we're half-sisters on my mom's side, but we were raised together, more or less.] Considering my mom still hates her first husband with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, even 60 years later...Ouch!)

Since we are a very small family, Sis is literally batting 1.000.

Do I sound bitter? That's because I am bitter. Like a pot of coffee left on the burner too long.

I can't think too much about this at the moment, or my blood pressure will rise and I won't be able to get to sleep. Instead I'll just try to remember what my nephew calmly said,"She's made her decision and her priority is very clear."

Bah.

I'll just stick to playing with the babies in my family, and visiting my late brother-in-law's grave when I can (with other relatives).

Note the toy cars from his grandsons. - I miss you, big brother.

And in other news, I have not heard back from my oncologist about the MRI of my giant skull, so I guess no news is good news, since doctors are usually really prompt about bad news.

Now I need to go to sleep, since it's long past my bedtime, and I'll be on a new floor at work tomorrow, with the grand poobahs.

P.S. *It was unintentionally hilarious trying to explain the term "butthead" to my very correct, older German relatives.  "So do you remember the show 'Beavis and Butthead'? No? Oh well...let's see now..."

Thundersnow!

So yesterday's forecast was for 4-6 inches of snow. BZZZZZT! Survey says: 15" of snow in Central Park today. Unlike the usual Chicken Little routine of local meteorologists (or as my friend Sam mockingly calls it "Death Storm 20xx") they actually severely underestimated the snowfall. Plus, we had thundersnow -- that's twice in one winter.

Speaking of odd natural phenomena -- why are there still leaves on the trees in the traffic circle?! It's January, fer pete's sake.

Lessee, what else is going on? Well, I realized the other night that on January 30th, it will be exactly two years since my surgery. Holy tostitos, Batman!

That realization was an odd moment. On the one hand, it feels like so much longer than that. (Really? You mean I had four decades of life PD? [pre-diagnosis]) On the other, it seems like not so long ago. I guess two years is not that long, relatively speaking, but I remember with crystal clarity the day my doctor called with the fun news (12/30/08).

Of the 10 bullet points I listed in my previous post (I actually remembered more later) I accomplished exactly... one-half of one item during my staycation. Heh. My entryway area is now very tidy. Oh, and I did lots of laundry (clean clothes -- what a novelty!)

What did I do instead, you may ask? Why I wrote almost 10,000 words of fanfiction. (Yes, the superdork sign is flashing in neon lights above my head right now.) I find it absolutely flabbergasting that my stories have had over 5,000 hits, with over 3,000 visitors, and 40+ people (all complete strangers) subscribed to my work! Holy cr*p! As the Brits would say, I'm all chuffed :)

Besides the ego boost, the writing is actually sort of therapeutic, as my Pearl of Wisdom has helped me realize that I identify so strongly with certain characters because hey, the guy is very emotionally reserved (sound like anyone we know? oh yeah -- my last 2 exes. oh, and MY DAD) and the woman is outwardly confident but trundling around a wheelie full of baggage inside (ahem. no comment).

Yeah, Pearl is all pleased that I'll be working on some of my Issues "using a creative outlet". I find that I really do enjoy writing (heck, I even incorporated my panda fetish into the stories -- HA! so there!) and now I sort of understand why sometimes real (professional) authors say things like, "I honestly had no idea my characters were going to do that." Huh.

And now I can truly appreciate (quite viscerally) just how much work goes into well-crafted stories. Yow.

Okay, lunch time is OVAH.

Yeah, NYC public schools are all closed today (!) -- as well as "all non-essentiall NYC personnel" -- and yet my employer is still open. Boo!

(Ironic footnote: I leapt out of bed waaaay more promptly this morning than usual, in order to check to see if our office was officially closed. Heh.)

Upside down

So what are the odds that by the time I go back to work from my staycation, I will have completely reversed my sleeping schedule? So far, I've gone to bed at 12:30 AM (somewhat normal for me), 4:30 AM (late, even for me), and oh yeah, 4:30 AM (again). Oops.

I've also cemented my supernerd status by writing my first fanfiction short story ever, a drabble (normally defined as 100 words in other FF realms, but set as 1,000 words in the fandom I loiter in) which has made me really, really appreciate the well-written ones I've come across.

And no, I am so not telling you where I posted this froth.

In other entertaining but useless endeavors, I have also signed up for a Twitter account, and lemme tellya, it's like wandering into a foreign country, since the syntax and conventions are entirely alien to this middle-aged chick. (It also makes me think stalkers must be in nirvana in borderless territory like that. Yikes.)

On the bright side, I have done 3 loads (or one overflowing granny cart) of laundry so far. Trust me, I have quite a pile yet to go.

Other tasks awaiting me this week:

• refinancing my mortage - not something I want to discuss @ work
• updating my resume - uh, ditto!
• checking out details on how much $$$$ the dating service a friend recommended - ummmm, really ditto!
• visiting my friend's parents in Princeton
• visiting my family in CT
• returning one of the down coats I bought for mom for Xmas (rejected by recipient)
• shipping out a giant pile of packages @ the USPS
• finishing up my traditional Xmas - New Year's - Chinese New Year holiday cards (deadline: Feb. 3, 2011 = 4709 Year of the Rabbit)
• watching the DVDs I borrowed from the library:

1. Just Wright - romcom with Queen Latifah and (I forget which) rapper-turned-actor
2. The Secret In Their Eyes - last year's Oscar winner for foreign film
3. Iron Man 2 - do I even need to give this a blurb?

• and oh yeah, taking a sandblaster to my apartment!

Ain't life in the big city just a thrill a minute?

Speaking of the big city, the photo above was taken at City Hall Park a few years ago at night, using an extended release shutter speed. Cool, eh?

Fluffy white fun

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse. Canon DLSR on tripod with remote timer taking a photo once every five minutes.

Approximately 20 hours in 40 seconds.

Facebook: Mike Black Photography

This evening, the video even made it onto the ABC evening news (the national broadcast, not local).

Me? Am happily ensconced with my family in Connecticut, where my youngest niece was prevented from flying back to SF since all 3 NYC airports were closed today (oops).

One day, I'll experience thundersnow, but it was not to be this weekend.

Weekend(s) in New England

So okay, I've always had a hidden fondness for this old Barry Manilow song, and since I've visited Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maine, and Connecticut during the past 3 weekends, I figure I'm entitled to use it as my lead in. Heh.

The photo above, and at the end of this post are from Boston, during Halloween weekend, when I visited my friend Tamara. The photo right below is from my sister's front yard, where both she and I love the vivid red of her Japanese maple trees in the fall.

Despite the depressing round of layoffs last week (and the suspicion that there may be more in a few months), on the bright side, 1) I'm still employed, 2) with health coverage that sends me to MSKCC, 3) where my antigen tests all came back negative at the end of October. (Time for the quarterly happy dance!) Next check up is in March, and if I do well then, I'll graduate to semi-annual checkups! Woohoo!

By the way, dunno if I mentioned this before, but there is a certain habit doctors have which is understandable in terms of WHY they do it, but still makes you want to put your head on the table. I refer of course, to the classic exchange of "Does this hurt?" [poke, poke, poke] "YES! OW!!!!"

So the oncologist was examining me during my checkup at the end of October, and feeling for any new lumps (none, thank goodness) on both sides of my torso. This was when we both discovered that my left side is still extremely sensitive, and hurts when jostled, poked, or otherwise insulted, even though the surgery was almost 2 years ago (January 2009).

Her: "I see that this side is still tender." [poke, poke, poke]
Me: "Yes! Ow! OW!! OW!!!"
Her: "Yes, that's normal."
Me: [whimper]

Now don't get me wrong -- I like my onco-doc, and she needed to do that, but still: EEK!!! Ya know?

Yesterday's check up was with the surgeon, who was very pleased with my healing. Despite some slight keloidal scarring (what can ya do? the joys of an olive complexion; plus in the scheme of things, I don't really care, considering the alternatives) he pronounced himself very pleased with my progress, "A good result!" and said my next checkup with him would be in a year. Hurrah!

And I was amazed and warmed by the number of friends who posted happy comments on Facebook when I reported my avuncular, bow-tied surgeon's progress report. Wow.

I also cracked up said surgeon with my comments that it (the surgical scar) almost looks like a coin pocket, and about the poke-poke-poke issue. "Yes, doctors can be a pain, can't they?" (See? I told you I liked my surgeon.) Hey, did he make a joke?! I mean, he WAS smiling when he said that. Hmmm...

Speaking of health matters, I've been struggling with my weight lately but I signed up for the new WW session at work. Right now I seem to be going through a lot of stress / angry eating (which is extremely frustrating, since it has NOTHING to do with actual hunger -- it's never about the food: it's always about The Issues Underneath) but eventually I'll get my noshing under control (I think...). In the meantime, at least I'm gnawing on less bad-for-me food than I used to (e.g., roast chicken and roasted squash vs. fish & chips, or Kame rice crackers vs. potato chips) and eating better breakfasts (what is this croissant thing you speak of? I have not had one for years).

Okay, time to haul myself off to work. Ciao, y'all!

Mixed signals

So we had more layoffs today. It was very depressing. My department is fine, but our division had 5 people let go, 4 of whom sat near me.

So I suppose that when our Chief Administrative Officer jokes with me about having Security escort me out in the evenings (because I frequently work late -- though I have yet to meet the cleaning staff at least), this is not a bad thing.

And our Managing Director had a fun, fun day telling each department that reported to him the cheery news in closed door meetings, so I admire him for that.

We got several bounceback messages from people throughout the company this afternoon, so clearly today was a busy day for HR.

Ugh.

Have I mentioned that Open Enrollment for next year's health care benefits starts tomorrow? Repeat after me: continued employment = continued health insurance coverage, so buried somewhere under my moroseness, there is thankfulness. Honest.

Right now though, I am going to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

Option Three

pedestal sink anyone?

So when confronted with the options of [1] laundry (and you all know how much I love that). [2] cleaning out and rearranging my kitchen (now that's it's cool enough to make cooking appealing again -- just bought some Japanese turnips at the farmers market near me), or [3] hiding from it all and taking a nap on a cool Sunday afternoon, guess which one sounds most appealing?

(looooong pause for a nap)

Actually, I think the need for napping (in addition to the 10 hours of sleep I had last night) is a combination of factors: (a) I'm either fighting off some wicked-nasty fall allergies [though possibly it's the stupid new office building and its new carpeting and construction dust], (b) a fall cold, or (c) I'm avoiding dealing with a whole bunch of emotional crap.

an early turner in Central Park

And while re-reading a post from a year ago, wherein I mention both Japanese turnips and my now ex, reminds me of just how many things can happen in a year, it doesn't make me think that I made the wrong call in breaking up with him. Quite the contrary (which doesn't mean I'm not still trying to wipe off the emotional residue, if you'll pardon the double negative).

Re-reading that post also made me realize: holy crap! I finished radiation treatments exactly one year ago this Tuesday, October 19th! I think tonight's belated celebration of my friend Marci's birthday at Kittichai will have to include a celebratory glass of wine to mark that occasion. (I was out of town for her actual birthday, and on Mondays only, they have a hot pot special, so since last Monday was Bloody Bloody Sexypants [also with Marci], tonight will be the foodfest. Hmmm... apparently Mondays nights will be full of droolworthy events, for one reason or another. Heh.)

Regardless of whatever the reason for the desire for lots of sleep, it is long past my bedtime now, and so I am just leaving you all with a photo from my friend Curt's happy place, Flora Grubb [top photo] and two shots from my hour long walk through Central Park yesterday (Saturday), for which my right knee is distinctly displeased with me today (Sunday).

All of these shots were taken with my trusty little LG VX11000 cellphone (a/k/a LG enV Touch) and then touched up on my Maxi-Squirrel (the Dell Vostro 1500 laptop), as opposed to my Mini-Squirrel (the Dell Mini 10 netbook).

Back to the grind

Had a brain cramp this past week and completely forgot to "refill" my commuter card for the coming month (duh!) so I will have to pay for the next 40 days of subway fare from post-tax money. DOH!

And I am also teetering on the brink of total overdraft disaster at the bank (yes, I have an overdraft protection account, but I have been using it way too often lately) so refilling my MetroCard until payday on Thursday should be interesting.

So you could say that I have indeed fallen back to earth with a thump. I mean, hey, we don't get Columbus Day off at our company either, so today was (a) a workday, and (b) started off by my locking myself out of the network at the office since I mistyped my LAN password 3 times (two words: case sensitive).

After a helpful chat with the Help Desk, I cleared out a little under 300 e-mails from my inbox this morning (my eyes felt like they were crossing by the last dozen or so). Tomorrow, I rescheduled a checkup with my onco-doc since I still have to finish my third quarter billing (sssshh! we got an extension -- don't tell my boss or she might have apoplexy).

I leave you all with two things: (1) this lovely view of the lower Manhattan skyline taken at the South Street Seaport during sunset this summer, [both my old office building and the new one -- 4 blocks further from the subway -- are in the shot] and (2) the plaintive question as to when I can leave for my next vacation?

(Lest you all think I am ungrateful: I love Love LOVE being employed! I do! And I especially adore my health insurance! Yes indeed! I just really enjoyed my vacation and liked it LOTS. Heh.)

Minor update

Flora Grubb is Curt's happy place ;)

No giganto suitcase of laundry to CT today, only a tote bag, as Mom has decreed that I will be staying over at her place tomorrow night, whereupon I will depart for work in the AM, going straight to a show Monday evening with my friend Marci: Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson (or as their ad says, "history just got all sexypants"). Thus, no large suitcase will be trundling along behind me for the next 72 hours.

I leave you all with more food porn (I could just taste to luscious amounts of butter in Piccino's ginger scone, a weakness of both Curt's and mine), and one of the plant sculptures (for lack of a better term) at Flora Grubb, which Curt not so jokingly calls his happy place -- and I can see why!

There were so many visually arresting tableaus that I wound up taking at least half a dozen shots (that I do not have time to post right now, since there's a Metro North train calling my name: major BBQ tonight with both the German and Chinese sides of the family, at the "big house" which my sister has returned to after the departure of her summer tenants).

Ciao!

Piccino's ginger scone rocks my world

Dinner date with a magical animal

Nothing says "I want you to visit NOW" like when your mom oh-so-casually mentions that she just 'happened' to make some pork zongzi, a dish that requires 8 hours of stovetop cooking.

So I got back from my conference in DC laaaaate last night and tonight I promptly wolfed down 2 of the dense delights (pork, fresh peanuts, and salted egg yolks [made separately ahead of time], all surrounded by sticky rice, each wrapped in a banana leaf, boiled for 5 hrs, steeped overnight, and then boiled for another 3 hrs) at Mom's.

Yes, I know that 2 of those babies probably equal my entire WW points budget for the whole day (if not more) but sometimes, you just gotta break the bank.

Mom, meanwhile, was giggling delightedly as she watched my willpower implode in a massive fireball of gluttony, and admitting, "Gee I guess that's not going to help with your weight loss, is it?"

No, Mom. It's really not ;) but I know food = luuuv, so hey :)

Points if you can pick out Mom's building in the distance.

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In The Closet

You know the Closet of Disaster beloved of sitcoms and home organization shows? The one where you throw all sorts of crap in there and slam the door shut, knowing that to open it again would unleash an avalanche of garbage? Yeah, THAT closet.

Welcome to my psyche post-engineer.

On the other hand, you could also make the case that my apartment is already physically manifesting the eruption of my emotional trash, both aspects of which I've been studiously ignoring for weeks if not months now. (For those of you with hygiene phobias, fear not: my crap consists of papers and not anything that would generate new mutant life forms.)

Well this week's session with my Pearl of Wisdom started the process of at least cracking the door open to see how much I've stuffed into that clown car of a closet.

All of the above could explain why I am suffering from one of my periodic bouts of what I jokingly refer to as SMDS: Severe Motivational Deficiency Syndrome (a/k/a can't I just stay in bed forever?)

Being the perverse creature I am, however, I scheduled a 6:30 AM - 8:00 AM Fresh Direct delivery Thursday morning instead. While getting up before dawn is highly undesirable, it did provide me the chance to catch a spectacular sunrise.

Enjoy!

Let's not and say we did

That's the amusing URL for what looks to be a mindnumbing teen film called EASY A, based oh-so-loosely on The Scarlet Letter. That could also be the motto for my TiVo watching and churchgoing.

The church part is only appropriate since my cab cruised by the house of Hollywoodland on the way to the Metro-North station in Harlem today. I blinked at the storefront and then snapped a photo. The other photo was taken a few weeks ago in Greenwich by A. We BOTH blinked at that sign and wondered what it was about the monkeys that we were supposed to consider.

As for my 5 y.o. TiVo that's hooked up to my 15 y.o. TV, it's been faithfully recording and deleting shows (according to my programming rules) for weeks without my actually turning on the TV. I wonder if I'll spend the entire new season virtually watching shows that way? But then how could I sate my girlcrush on Grace Park in the new HAWAII FIVE-O? Okay Daniel Dae Kim and Alex O'Loughlin also aren't hard on the eyes.

Oh! It's my stop!

Hamster Town

So I often joke that the thing powering my PC at work is a very tired little hamster, as it seems to be going slower and slower these days (according to the specs, I was last upgraded in 2007, with a not top of line desktop, for what that's worth) as it will frequently freeze due to lack of processing power and RAM. (Believe me, you fellow Windoze folks would laugh uproariously if I told you the specs -- CPUs that you no longer remember, RAM outpaced by my low budget Dell Mini netbook, the list goes on.)

With our upcoming office move later this month, there is a faint glimmer of hope (smaller than an exhausted Tinkerbell) that we might get new PCs, but my coworkers are resigned to achieving detente with their own PHs (personal hamsters, which sounds wrong, but if what we've taken to calling them).

On the bright side (well, we either find a bright side or our heads all explode, so that's motivational) we've learned to be more zen about the whole thing, like when I was working in our China offices on an even older loaner laptop. Patience, grasshopper. Or as I used to joke at an old job, a day without rebooting is like a day without sunshine. Oh wait -- our current offices have no windows.

Despite all that whinging, I really am happy to have a job I like, with coworkers I like, and of course, excellent health insurance! Woohoo! Life is pretty darn good. It's just a NYC pastime to make sarcastic comments, in a hopefully amusing manner, but if I ever turn into my perpetually complaining mother, you all have my permission to smack me upside da hayed.

Another NYC habit is to run at 90 mph, which is what my mind feels like sometimes. Just like when people land in one of the airports after a relaxing vacation on a tropical isle and start snapping at each other about the overhead luggage, my mind's been chasing pirates again (if you haven't already, you really should check out the lyrics to see what I mean).

In general though, I've been sleeping better, and the mile / two mile walks I've been taking up CPW most evenings have been helping, as has the pounding away at the keyboard of my netbook, venting all the ravings of my inner hamster on a wheel. So while the weekly WW weigh ins have been stubbornly unencouraging, my clothes inform me that I'm moving in the right direction.

And last night (!) I had a dream where The Engineer wrote to me that he was working out his things in his mind and would soon be ready to get in touch and be friends. (WTF?! Where did THAT dream come from?) My dream self then thought about it and realized that no, I didn't really want to be friends with him. Now is that reaction anger or mere acceptance? Who knows?

I do know however, that I'm off to work, to keep said nifty job, and will leave you all with the comment that the above photo was taken the night I came back from Boston and is of the main USPS building in Manhattan, that is no longer open 24/7, due to budget cuts. Isn't the Farley Building beautiful? And the cars streaking by looked cool too.

Ciao, mis amigos!

Back from Beantown

So yo! (as certain piranha-nettes I know would say) I have many shots of food porn to post, and many details to tell y'all about my fun, fun trip (well, those of you not already on Facebook -- I have been blabbing on FB throughout the weekend) but I think I will continue the trend of going to bed eeeearly for now.

In fact, one night up north I was ready to crawl under the covers by 9:00 pm, while another night I fell asleep during a panda segment on high def TV. Yes, believe it or not, I slept through footage of giant pandas being adorable -- incredible but true. Apparently 10:00 was just too late for me that night.

So this photo shows just the speed I was set for during my trip (that is to say: immobile / inert / mellow). However, my readiness to go * thud * early every night and sleep for 10 hours could also have something to do with the 1 to 4 mile walks we took daily along the seashore. (Ya think?)