My Inner Teenager Is Back: Alice & Resident Evil

Thanks Google! I certainly couldn't remember the sequence.

I've always had a not-so-sneaking fondness for the Resident Evil movie franchise, and am happy to leave it on in the background if I surf across it on TV. (I say "the background" because if a show or film is not on Netflix, Amazon, or a movie channel, the sheer number of commercials usually leaves me fed up and multi-tasking instead.)

I much prefer this poster over the one
actually used in US movie theaters.

A large part of my fondness for the films stems from the fact that Alice (Milla Jovovich) is clearly capable and takes no crap from anyone, while at the same time having a sense of humor and not taking herself [or the films] too seriously. As this highly enjoyable Slate article, How the Resident Evil Movies Became the Longest-Running Video Game Series of All Time, points out: there are few action film series with strong female leads besides Ripley in Alien. [Note: I disagree with the author's example of Katniss Everdeen, since she spends much of the Hunger Games movies deciding how to react to plans made by others for her -- usually males -- whereas Alice will ruin her opponents' game plans without the slightest hesitation, and usually leave them bleeding or dead.] There's also Selene in the Underworld series. Selene & Underworld, however, have ZERO sense of humor.

Also, with the infuriating stream of insanity issuing forth from that maniac in DC during the past week (only his first week! I may stroke out by the end of his term), I was definitely in the mood for some major zombie mayhem and the expenditure of large quantities of ordnance.

No, I really have NO idea what this says.
Yes, my Chinese IS that bad.

RE: The Final Chapter begins with an expository prologue explaining how the zombie apocalypse happened (although ironically, the word "zombie" is NEVER used in the films) and part of the explanation contradicts characters in an earlier RE movie (which IMDB informs me was RE: Apocalypse). However, on the whole, the prologue -- like the film itself -- remains consistent with the events and feel of the series.

Oh WAIT -- I forgot: before the film started (but after all of the trailers ended), there was a charming little video greeting to the audience from star Milla Jovovich, and writer/ director/ husband Paul W.S. Anderson. They thanked the filmgoers for joining them and their crew on the 15-year journey with Alice (yes, it's been THAT long). That was sweet -- unlike 95% of everything that occurs thereafter, heheheheh.

Speaking of which, also returning for additional carnage are Ali Larter (as Clare Redfield) and Iain Glen as that wacky mad scientist dude (better known to Game of Thrones viewers as poor Sir Jorah Mormont), the Red Queen (whom I now know is the daughter of star & director, thanks to that fab Slate article linked above), and the suuuuuper cheesy blond Albert Wesker character. "Yay, team!"

The only quibble I had with an otherwise highly enjoyable popcorn movie (that is, presuming you like the series already) is the frenetic camerawork: all of that herking & jerking around made me VASTLY GRATEFUL that I did not opt for the 3D experience.  Since camera-on-a-pogo-stick movements during the fight scenes already made my eyes want to cross, I thought the 3D would've made me want to grab somebody's popcorn bucket and hurl!

The only other movie I had that problem with was (UGH) The Blair Witch Project, where I was too busy trying not to barf to be at all creeped out by the late night shenanigans in the woods.

But back to Alice & Co: since I am not a gamer myself, I had not considered what two of my doormen told me, that the jerky camera movements were deliberate, in order to mimic the video game experience. In fact, one of my "tech advisors" [hee!]  said using the 3D glasses might've immersed me more fully into the gaming style.  Huh, never thought of it that way...

Movie Reviews from My Inner Teenager

First of all, yes, I'm still alive. 2016 was a brutal year, both personally (with the passing of my non-smoking mother from lung cancer, so I finally took a 2 month "rest cure" from work) and publicly (with the election of the Orange Clown -- coulrophobia will be even more rampant for me for the next four years).

Not surprisingly, escapism has held great appeal lately, so I've been making up for lost time over the holidays and letting my inner geek run wild at the movie theaters. (Geeky Squirrel been very gleeful.)

DOCTOR STRANGE

Benedict Cumberbatch + Mads Mikkelsen = take my money!

Asked my friend Marci to go with me since we saw it right after Xmas and it's been out since Nov. 4th. In other words, there was only one theater in Manhattan that was showing it at any time other than 10pm. I really wanted to see it in a theater because I'd heard there were some truly psychedelic SFX in the film (consider the era when the character was created). Plus, good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes: Benedict Cumberbatch and Mads Mikkelsen rarely turn in bad and/or dull performances.

As it turned out, I could have done with less of the Inception-esque CGI (yes, me – eye candy junkie) and a little more with work on the script for various characters' motivations. Seriously, a few minutes less of VFX and a corresponding increase in nuance would have been both immensely cheaper financially and more emotionally/psychologically rewarding in terms of payoff.

I mean you KNOW it's bad when I start mentally interpolating what my Mom's probable analysis of Kaecilius‘ (Mikkelsen) motives would have been for palling around with the god/demon (?) Dormammu (since the movie never gave us any) -- while I was still watching the movie!

When the being you follow starts to dissolve
your eyes? Yeah, generally not a GOOD omen.

Various fansites have speculated one way; I've extrapolated another, and then there's the whole "what's up with the Ancient One?" issues. [We are NOT even going to go into why an Asian male character was recast by Wonder Bread Hollywood as a Celtic woman. PAH.]

And I know this isn't Macbeth (which I sooooooo need to watch), but why does the most (entertainingly) egotistical, selfish, and abrasive neurosurgeon decide to become a protective guardian using his fabulous new occult powers? Or if the study of the mystic arts really helped him “grow as a person” (yes, you can hear my eyes rolling) to the point where he'd step in, I must've blinked and missed it.

But these are minor quibbles. For what I went in expecting – spectacular visuals, sorcerous battles, entertaining training montages, an origin story – it delivered quite respectably. Bonus points for Hong Kong location shooting.

STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE

Donnie Yen + Mads Mikkelsen = happy camper!

Rogue One (think of it as Episode III.5) was vastly more satisfying than the fluffy The Force Awakens (Episode VII), which I found immediately forgettable, barring the Kylo Ren temper tantrums and hilarious memes.

If it weren't midnight, I'd go into vast detail about why everything is better in Ep. III.5 (or maybe I just like Jyn Erso better than Rey -- though they are both GALAXIES better than anything in the dreck of Episodes I - III). Instead, I will just say that two Mads movies in one month just sent my non-existent ovaries into hyperdrive. DANG.

Photo Source: Spanish GQ

ASSASSIN'S CREED

Michael Fassbinder shirtless, kicking ass with sexy martial arts? I AM SO THERE!!!

One blog is hilariously succinct with their post, Putting the Sin in Assassin complete with hubba-hubba, shirt-free publicity still.

If I had any brain cells left at this hour, I would write down everything I pondered during my two screenings -- yes, Miss Scrimpy With Her Money And Time saw Assassin TWICE -- of this delectable actionfest. (I am, after all, a proud geek, with a bazillion science fiction movie arguments honed over the decades.) But that will have to wait for another post.

Have some "guns" and a crossbow as a placeholder.

February Funk

So I started off February all revved up about posting often. As you can see by the dates between today's blather and the previous one, that didn't work out so well.

The red eyes are on my REALLY bad days

Instead, I spent most of the month like this.

It didn't help that most of February was a constant blur of frigid temperatures, snow, sleet, wintry mix, and fossilized snow. For pete's sake, The Weather Channel is up to Winter Storm Thor. THOR! It seemed like a nasty storm would blow in like clockwork every Sunday, triggering an emergency alert from the office every Monday. BLEH. (And that's NOT my imagination: tonight's weather report said that happened 7 out of the past 9 weekends.)

The first half of February was a blur of clearing the decks so that I could go in for my outpatient bilateral laparoscopic salpingo-oophorectomy on Valentine's Day (oh the irony). That's the formal medical name, since I certainly didn't need the highways to nowhere (i.e., my tubes), once my ovaries were gone.

My anesthesiologist at Sloan-Kettering was hilarious though. Upon meeting me in the pre-op waiting area, he (a) enlightened us as to the difference between general anesthesia and twilight sedation, [In general anesthesia, the machines are breathing for me. Luckily, I was unconscious before they put the respiratory tube down my throat. Yuck.] and (b) gave me a pop quiz:

Dr. A: [casually] So what'd you eat for breakfast?

Me: [promptly] NO!

Dr. A: Right answer! You get to go ahead with your procedure.

My awesome friend Marci accompanied me for the day, and made sure I made it home okay. She also kindly unearthed my bed, hidden under several sacks of clean -- yes, clean -- laundry.  (Sidenote: general anesthesia totally SUCKS! Found out that I am one of those folks who will totally barf if not given an anti-emetic. Plus, days of post-op lethargy. "Oh, I've been awake for all of 3 hours? Time to pass out again." [THUD...Zzzzz...])

So all that took more out of me than I expected.  But although I had President's Day off, and took the rest of the week off as well, my sister left for Florida that Wednesday, and so my brother-in-law dropped mom back off at her place.  I felt like a total rebel for not returning till Thursday night, whereupon I found out she had a terrible cold. That led to a fun few weeks.

Mmmm... crispy Peking duck burrito

I. Am. So. Tired.

SO tired.

It makes me super-cranky when at work (which mercifully, is NOT in the office, except once a week).

Luckily, I had planned some fun events for later in the month, like a belated Chinese New York banquet with my friends (Peking duck makes EVERYTHING better!)

[This is making me hungry...brief pause for dinner, a la realtime blogging like Pinky Guererro.]

Oops...that was an extremely long break, since I took time out to eat, watch THE WALKING DEAD (best not to combine the 2 activities), and then BATTLE CREEK (what can I say? I've always had a soft spot for Dean Winters, a\k\a The Mayhem Guy in the hilarious Allstate ads -- FYI: there are apparently 4-6 ads deemed too violent to air on TV. Dayum! SO wanna see those !)

Our view in Town Hall

Speaking of funny, I also went to see Craig Ferguson's standup show with as part of his Hot & Grumpy Tour, with my pals Jackie Blue and Marci. I needed a night of pure relaxation, where we were laughing until I was literally wiping tears from my eyes. He reminded me of Eddie Izzard in style, so we were all happy campers. And his opening act was Josh Robert Thompson, the voice of Geoff The Gay Robot from Craigy Ferg's LATE, LATE SHOW. (JRT does an absolutely uncanny impersonation of Morgan Freeman which had the audience in stitches, BTW.)


And along other disorienting thoughts -- besides a 40 year old white guy sounding like a 77 year old black man -- is the idea that my cat and I share a common trait: we've both been fixed.

Just because I decided years ago that I didn't want (human) children, doesn't mean it doesn't still leave me slightly bemused of being biologically incapable of having offspring. Also causing a "WHOA!" moment is the thought that if I ever have sex again (HA!) I will no longer need birth control. (Fear not: that doesn't mean no safe sex. I came of age during the discovery of AIDS, after all. But since the goal of all of this surgery is to leave me with no estrogen, I have ZERO libido.)  And I'm still wrapping my head around the concept of no more periods EVER. Never ever ever. HALLELUJAH! Once that fully sinks in, I will be doing my Snoopy impression.

Soooooo YES! (And I know I'm going to grammar hell for all of my double negatives.)

So yeah, I have a lot of major life changes going on that have yet to fully sink in.

And I have no idea of how I'm going to get out from under my current routine which leaves me a Super Cranky Squirrel, as most of my vacation days have been spoken for between a trip in July, and all of the medical appointments for Mom and myself. (Did I mention my sister is in Florida for the month?) The eldercare lawyer is going to put in a Medicaid application for Mom, in order for the potential to get some home care help, but that'll be months in the making.

(Related aside: I freaking HATE dealing with HSBC. They are the most unhelpful bank EVER. And I'm supposed to be a freaking Premier customer. Asshats. Despise them with a tired, dimly burning passion -- if I had more energy, it'd be the fire of a thousand suns, but as things stand, well...)

But I digress.

Have started seeing my therapist again this year (affectionately referred to as my Pearl of Wisdom), and she's helped me recognize that part of the reason I may be so exhausted -- besides the obvious one of having 2 full time jobs -- is that somewhere deep inside I am angry, and repressing all of that anger is very tiring exercise. Looking after my Mom is a labor of love, and I don't resent doing it, but I do feel like I'm paddling in the middle of the ocean with one oar.

I. Am. So. Tired.

TripleC is exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.

US$70M? Really?

blackhat

(suggested alternate titles: Interns Gone Wild; Miami Vice Goes to Hong Kong)

Rotten Tomatoes, I will never, ever, doubt your 31% Tomatometer rating again.

For a film with a reported US$70M budget, evidently none of it was spent on any of the following:

• a focus puller - an endless succession of blurry shots? really? REALLY??
• a Steadicam operator - the first film since BLAIR WITCH PROJECT whose jerky handheld shots made me seriously wonder if I was going to toss my cookies before it ended
• any dolly tracks - see: perennially bumpy footage, above; painful bonus round: when the camera operator was obviously running with the actors
• an editor who was willing to smack Michael Mann upside da hayed - and tell him to trim numerous shots throughout the 2-hr, 13-min movie
• a screenwriter who didn't fail his Remedial Character Motivations 101 class - at one point Chris Hemsworth's character  uttered such a "me Tarzan, you Jane" line that I could hear the people in the row behind us snort audibly (more on those fellow filmgoers later, since they were HILARIOUS), whereas other characters have a single line of dialogue each to explain their actions.

I could go on, but I need to go to bed soon, except to say when I explained to my much younger friend who saw this disaster with me that: no, really, Michael Mann was a generally respected director, her reply was that CLEARLY he let the intern direct the movie.

Her excellent suggestion as to what ACTUALLY became of the $70M production budget also deserves to be repeated: "Hookers and blow, my friend. Hookers and blow." 

PACING

The movie opened promisingly with a gripping sequence set in a Hong Kong nuclear reactor. After that, it was all downhill.

Normally, I hate superfast cuts and edits which make it hard to see what's going on, but I literally spent much of the movie silently thinking "OK, lose 10 seconds here, and 15 secs there, and..." There was a lot of flabby footage in blackhat. And I mean A LOT.

For example, there were several scenes where the audience follows various Hong Kong SWAT team members and cops running across tarmac, docks, tunnels, helipads, etc. etc. Then there are the lovely night scenes of various boats zooming across Victoria Harbor (which made me wonder when Crockett and Tubbs were going to show up). We GET IT: they're on the move...unlike the story!  Which brings me to. . . 

PLOT

Do I know what it is? Do I even care??

There was one particular moment involving a NSA software program which caused my friend and I -- and the entire row behind us -- to burst out laughing. Trust me, that was NOT the reaction Mr. Mann was going for in that scene.
 

"Excuse me, but can I erase this film from my resume?"

OTHER MUSINGS

I had a lot of downtime in this movie to think about. . . 

Mandarin vs. Cantonese - The authorities in HK speak Mandarin (i.e., they are from Beijing). The local first responders all speak Cantonese (accurate). There are several extended scenes in Chinese (with well-translated subtitles), and numerous Chinese co-stars such as TANG Wei and Leehom WANG. With almost all of the events set in HK, Malaysia, and Indonesia, clearly this film is aiming for the Greater China market, as well as most of Asia. Maybe it will do better there. . .

Viola Davis is, as always, riveting. I also had time to notice various Criminal Minds guest stars and former CSI regulars (like I said, LOTS of downtime!) such as:

• Archie Kao
• Spencer Garrett
• William Mapother
• Holt McCallany - double dipping: he was also a recurring character on CSI: Miami

OKAY FEZZIK, I WILL SUM UP

It was a good thing I had specific expectations going into blackhat, or I would have been sorely disappointed:

• eye candy - Chris "Thor" Hemsworth is very pretty, and just can't help looking like a fabulously glamorous movie star -- a thought I kept having as his character traipsed without rousing any notice throughout southeast Asia...you know, where everyone is about a foot shorter than him, with black hair and brown eyes. *snort* I was contented with his screen time, and all of the highly attractive Asian actors sprinkled thoughout, but my friend complained about insufficient shirtlessness. Heh.
• armchair tourism - it was indeed like revisiting Hong Kong, without any of the attendant crowding, heat, or humidity - lots of scenes in the night markets, Kowloon, the harbor, the skyline, etc. etc. While the travel show sloooooowed down the movie, it allowed me to indulge in nostalgia, sans 13-hour plane flight. Bonus tours of Indonesia and Malaysia included at no extra cost. (Did I mention that I saw this flick for half price? Mercifully.)
• unexpected fringe benefit: SnarkAlec fodder - my friend and I (and the people in the row behind us) were already snarking in the mostly empty theater, and I heartily recommend gathering a group of friends -- whether tech savvy people, action movie fans, Miami Vice afficionados, or ex-Hong Kongers -- with copious amounts of booze, once this thing hits video.   

And finally, Deadline Hollywood has already come out with a post-mortem: Legendary’s Michael Mann Pic ‘Blackhat': What The Hell Happened? whose URL alone is worth a giggle -- http://deadline.com/2015/01/blackhat-michael-mann-chris-hemsworth-universal-legendary-box-office-bomb-1201353487/

Totally inconspicuous Viking, bundled up in the tropics

Numb3rs

So yes, I've been gone for a loooong time from here. It's been a busy month. Or 5-6 weeks. Taxes. Another reorg at work. (And no, I don't know how many that makes over the past few years.) Got my health tests back from MSKCC after a scare about a possible lump in my OTHER boob (yeah, those were the most miserable 2-3 weeks in recent memory until after the all-clear, and left me noticeably foul-tempered at work).


But now, I'm generally more cheerful. I'm still employed (with fabbo health insurance) and have gotten better at not letting the inanity / insanity at the office get to me. Try (usually successfully) to visit my mom every Monday so we watch DANCING WITH THE STARS together (heh). My family is healthy and doing well. I can even finally see the floor in my bedroom again. Hanging out with my real-life friends here locally is also part of my routine.


And as those stats in the photo up above show, I have been writing up a storm (hence, kinda quiet here) and making writing friends, as well as general goofing-off friends via Twitter and Tumblr. (Warning: that link to my Tumblr account may be full of amusement, especially if you know the way my mind works, but don't read the stories unless you want your eyelids seared with smut. Just sayin' ;-p)


In addition to all of that, I have started noticing the opposite sex again (translation: severely crushing on a writer, as my 100th Tumblr post shows) so I say it's time to start dating again! Will take a deep breath and call IT'S JUST LUNCH to see how much they cost. My wall unit savings account can be redirected to the "get me to relearn how to socialize" fund instead. Since my Pearl of Wisdom wisely pointed out that my last two relationships left a few things to be desired (not going to get into the details of our problems here, I can can definitely recognize the things she mentioned) so it's not surprising that I'm ambivalent about the idea of EVER marrying. Heck, just getting back into the swing of things will be a novelty for me. It's been almost exactly one year since I broke up with The Engineer, so yeah, it's time.


And one that note, I am going to immerse myself in my new Adele: 21 CD which is FANTASTIC. That woman has chops! And since I never watch the Grammys, I didn't know she'd won any. Instead, I was introduced to her vocal prowess in my across the hall neighbor's living room, via his blow-black-your-hair home theater system. I am in aural adoration mode (with Adele -- my 20 year old TV shows I'm not that bothered about home theater stuff).

Squee!

Work has been hellacious lately (lather, rinse, repeat) and whenever that happens, I start thinking about (a) updating my resume, and/or (b) planning my next vacation. In this case, I did both, but I'm going to talk about only the fun part here.

You know how I've been diligently accumulating all of my frequent flyer miles over the years for a return trip to Asia in business class? Well I'm finally about to pull the trigger as they say!

I had had a reservation on American for NYC - Shanghai || HK - NYC, but due to a glass of wine at dinner last night (yes, I am such a lightweight) I completely forgot that it expired at midnight last night, and NOT today, as my tiny pea brain thought. Oops.

Well hey, I've been trying to be more mellow about things lately (and sometimes it even works). In this case, I looked upon it as an opportunity to see if I could wangle a different itinerary (since you NEVER EVER get non-stop flights from A to B when using miles, from my experience). Since I wanted to build a multi-leg trip (instead of a straight round trip), and American therefore insisted routing me thru various connections, I thought I'd turn that to my advantage. (Note: the human touch worked so much better than the website in this case --> worth the phone time waiting for them to tweak SABRE.)

Et voila! I will now also be exploring Tokyo and Kyoto on my upcoming trip! All 4 legs of my trip are in business class (YES!) and I will be travelling thusly (bold legs are FF tickets):

1. NYC - Toronto - Hong Kong (short layover in Toronto, Cathay Pacific to HKG)
2. Hong Kong - Guilin (Chinese airlines are quite reasonable)
3. Guilin - Shanghai
4. Shanghai - Tokyo Narita (Japan Airlines)
5. Tokyo - Kyoto - Tokyo on the bullet train (have a friend in Kyoto, and Tokyo's a little overwhelming on my own, so probably more time in Kyoto, which is prettier from what I hear [less bombing from WWII])
6. Tokyo Haneda - JFK (non-stop on American)

All told, I will be gone for 2 weeks, but with Memorial Day and a few business meetings sandwiched in, I should NOT blow 75% of my annual vacation days, maybe only 50% instead. Bonus!

So I've e-mailed all of my buddies in HK and Shanghai, and my friend Brian and his wife (hi Brian!) are not only going to help me reconnect with the people I met a few years ago, but also meet new contacts, what with the endless restructuring gyrations that have been going on within the company.

Hence, a photo of Chinese food to start this post with (heh) courtesy of Kam Man Foods here on Canal Street. (There are several other branches, if you want to explore their website.)

Today I've spent mostly on the phone with American, instead of prepping my taxes (ah well, there's always next weekend -- oh wait: I'm meeting my sister for a girl's weekend then, where I will also go to her hairdresser and finally ditch my grey hair). Ooops, better get cracking with that tax stuff soon!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to try to get up early (stop laughing so hard! I can hear you from here!) and go to Sloan for blood tests before work. Then the results will be ready for my oncologist when I go see her on Thursday for my quarterly check up. If all goes well on Thursday, then I get upgraded to a semi-annual visit.

Tonight, I leave you with this clip of some haunting piano music from a recent episode of CRIMINAL MINDS (insert fangirl squealing: here) which has been on loop in my home, that and another song I discovered recently called Inner Smile (Scottish band named after a US state that hit the UK charts, recommended by a woman in Cyprus, where the official video showing the female lead singer REALLY resembling Elvis: dizzy yet?).

Here's a link to the official Inner Smile video, filmed in 2000 wherein the very attractive female lead singer resembles Elvis to a startling degree. The whole theme of the video (which is really very clever) is a '60s style tribute to Elvis and reminds me why k.d. lang used to be so appealing. Check out the official video for Constant Craving if you need a refresher/reminder.

The video BELOW is of an autistic character, and the music has obsessed the show's fans ever since the episode aired. What do you think, folks? Catchy tune, eh?

Purple prose

No pun intended, but good smut is hard work. Really, just like filming a "love" scene in a movie, writing smut seems much more fun-filled and glamorous than it actually is.

First, there are only so many ways to describe certain body parts without either (a) repetition, or (b) euphemisms that make me burst out laughing. I mean, if you get detailed at all, there are quite a few paragraphs to go where you describe, um, certain activities. And after 7 chapters, my readers have been quite vocal about wanting some action! Heh.

Secondly, logistical issues abound. You don't want to accidentally give your characters extra limbs or contort them into physically unlikely positions. I don't care if you work for Cirque du Soleil, some feats are simply not possible. Likewise, just as in a movie, continuity is key. Otherwise, an attentive reader will realize that you have given one participant two left arms. Since I am not writing for Star Trek or Babylon-5, this would not be helpful.

Why am I suddenly concerned about the problems or purple prose? Well, uh, remember how I mentioned that I've started to write fan fiction? (Criminal Minds is my only milieu, by the way.) I'm now up to 20,000 words, with 13,000+ hits this year, and 64 subscribers. (The photo above shows the statistical breakdowns the site provides to the author.)

Yes, 64 random strangers around the world have subscribed to my stories so far. Since I only subscribe to maybe THREE authors I'm kinda proud of that statistic. (There is a lot of dreck out there, as you can imagine.) The only downside is that now I'm afraid to read some of my favorite writers since I don't want to unintentionally absorb their ideas.

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also known by another name: plagiarism. Oops.

In school, I always found that I did better in structured writing than "free topic essays" (i.e., write whatever you like, about anything you want; no guidance provided as to topic, format, etc.) which tended to make my mind go completely blank.

This is more like writing for a pre-established universe, a la Star Trek or Star Wars (a/k/a easier for first time writers like me). I'm enjoying the whole process of writing: outlining chapters, constructing imaginary homes with floor plans (more continuity concerns), considering where to end each chapter (I'm on 8 of 12+ for this particular story at the moment), and in general, building an overall framework for my characters to inhabit. Just ignore the part about them being from a TV show. ;)

Right now, I'm dealing with a nasty sore throat / cold / sinus congestion combination, so the behavior or my characters should be really interesting, since I'm feeling waaaaay loopy. (Can antibiotics make you lightheaded?)

And a visit to the dentist enlightened me as the the corollary of giant sinus headaches: toothaches. He showed me an x-ray where one of my molars is literally stabbing one of my sinuses with the roots of the tooth. No wonder my upper jaw hurts!

Yep, I'm a wreck. Took Friday off from work after the dental visit since (a) I felt like roadkill [coughing all night will do that to you], (b) wouldn't be productive at the office in that state anyway, and (c) the dentist told me I looked really run down [he's known me for over a decade -- he's allowed, heh] and that my cheek was all puffy and I sounded really congested. Translation: you're sick! go home! don't go out into the pouring rain and head to work!

There are many other things I need to catch you all up on, but I can only grasp one train of thought at a time in my head these days.

Huh. I've been awake for a whole three hours. Time for another nap.

THUD.

Upside down

So what are the odds that by the time I go back to work from my staycation, I will have completely reversed my sleeping schedule? So far, I've gone to bed at 12:30 AM (somewhat normal for me), 4:30 AM (late, even for me), and oh yeah, 4:30 AM (again). Oops.

I've also cemented my supernerd status by writing my first fanfiction short story ever, a drabble (normally defined as 100 words in other FF realms, but set as 1,000 words in the fandom I loiter in) which has made me really, really appreciate the well-written ones I've come across.

And no, I am so not telling you where I posted this froth.

In other entertaining but useless endeavors, I have also signed up for a Twitter account, and lemme tellya, it's like wandering into a foreign country, since the syntax and conventions are entirely alien to this middle-aged chick. (It also makes me think stalkers must be in nirvana in borderless territory like that. Yikes.)

On the bright side, I have done 3 loads (or one overflowing granny cart) of laundry so far. Trust me, I have quite a pile yet to go.

Other tasks awaiting me this week:

• refinancing my mortage - not something I want to discuss @ work
• updating my resume - uh, ditto!
• checking out details on how much $$$$ the dating service a friend recommended - ummmm, really ditto!
• visiting my friend's parents in Princeton
• visiting my family in CT
• returning one of the down coats I bought for mom for Xmas (rejected by recipient)
• shipping out a giant pile of packages @ the USPS
• finishing up my traditional Xmas - New Year's - Chinese New Year holiday cards (deadline: Feb. 3, 2011 = 4709 Year of the Rabbit)
• watching the DVDs I borrowed from the library:

1. Just Wright - romcom with Queen Latifah and (I forget which) rapper-turned-actor
2. The Secret In Their Eyes - last year's Oscar winner for foreign film
3. Iron Man 2 - do I even need to give this a blurb?

• and oh yeah, taking a sandblaster to my apartment!

Ain't life in the big city just a thrill a minute?

Speaking of the big city, the photo above was taken at City Hall Park a few years ago at night, using an extended release shutter speed. Cool, eh?

Warm and fuzzy

It's been an unusually harsh winter this year (in fact, we're due for another several inches of snow tomorrow night) so I've really been bonding with my Green Monstah and my new black marshmallow (which is the knee length version of this parka). Ironically, of course, I get killer hot flashes every night while I sleep (and on especially lucky days, during the mornings and afternoons as well), but hey, what can ya do? At least I'm still around to have them!

This frosty weather has been highly conducive to thoughts of Kittichai's Thai hot pot for my annual birthday dinner (no German food this year -- SHOCKING, I know) where endless plates of shrimp, (sushi grade) salmon, squid, mussels, beef, pork, and veggies arrive at your table, to be dipped into deliciously seasoned broth. Some of you may remember we attacked, er, enjoyed this repast in October, and evidently we rhapsodized over it so much that other folks were keen to join in this time. Heh.

Nothing else much is going on here (ah, the midwinter doldrums) except that I appear to have gained a grand total of 10-14 lbs over the winter (whoops), cleaned my place a little bit, since a friend's daughter stayed over here for the weekend (hi Pirate!) so there are actual patches of floor visible, and tonight, I tackled some emergency laundry (socks anyone?)

Am still deep in celebrity crush mode, so I ordered a boxed DVD set of Criminal Minds, seasons 1-5, on eBay as the syndicated versions on TV get chopped to bits to make room for extra commercials. Sigh. And although my fondness for cop/FBI shows has consistently manifested itself since grad school (hello? X-Files anyone?) the only problem is that some of the characters irritate the crap out of me (is it so wrong of me to feel gleeful when she got shot?)

So next week, I am taking off from work (9 office-free days for the price of 4 vacation days = a BARGAIN!) when I will have many many things to do (financial, domestic, correspondence & packages -- I owe you a great big old thank you, LQ!) and hopefully I can do them all to the accompaniment of a Thomas Gibson soundtrack in the background. *swoon* Heheheh. Yeah, I'm sick, but y'all knew that, right?

The Green Monster

No, that's not jealousy -- that's my beloved giant sage green couch, which seems to have a black hole secretly embedded in its cushions: once I sit / sprawl / lounge in it, that's it for the afternoon / day / evening. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything after that.

So today I pre-emptively did some tidying up BEFORE getting sucked into the green monster's gravity well. So although there are still mounds of Stuff piled hither and yon, one can actually see a reasonable amount of floor space in the living area. Shocking. (Remember: baby steps, a/k/a, the journey of a thousand garbage bags begins with a single pile of trash....)

Another sign that I am feeling somewhat better these days is that I actually have a celebrity crush. (I've noticed that I tend to have severe celebrity crushes mostly when I am not in a relationship, but for the last few months, I didn't even care about age-appropriate yummy looking actors.) Currently, it's Thomas Gibson from Criminal Minds.

He kind of reminds me of my ex-ex-bf, The Consultant, but only in that general police description kind of way: black hair, fair skin, preppy-looking, soft-spoken, and oh yeah, HOT. (Well, to me anyway -- such is personal taste, but at least I'm consistent.)

Okay, on to less dorky subjects, such as my round of vicarious travels via mystery novels on my Kobo e-reader:

• Broken English - Amish mystery set in Ohio; 2nd in the series
• Girl Who Played With Fire - book 2 of the Stieg Larsson series, set in Sweden (Noomi Rapace, the actress in the Swedish film adaptation, is excellent, by the way; she's also exactly 12 years younger than me* -- yikes! feeling old...)
• Man From Beijing - also set in Sweden (mostly) but eh, won't be reading more of his novels
• Hangman - a Faye Kellerman novel, the 21st in the Rina Lazarus/Peter Decker series, set in the Orthodox Jewish community in Los Angeles
• Storm Prey - the 20th John Sandford book in the Prey series; set in Minnesota during the winter (brrr... very appropriate)
• Am now in the middle of The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest - book 3 of the Stieg Larsson Millennium Trilogy

* Speaking of birthdays, that is indeed my birthday cake above, made by my sister, and decorated jointly by her (the chocolate shavings) and both of my grandnephews (the M&Ms), and demolished by the family at her house on the day itself. Babies galore this holiday season, with visits to 9 younger relatives ranging in age from 7 years to 7 weeks. Wheeee!

42 going on 17

It's been a long time since I stayed out till 2:00 AM... but apparently us fortysomethings can still close down a place when given proper incentive, like say, a 25th reunion of your high school classmates. (Naturally, I was scheduled to meet some friends the next morning for a 10:00 AM bargain matinee of RED; although fun, it alas did not pass the Bechdel Test, the criteria for which Sam told us about afterward.)

So yes, I do think I looked pretty damn good (thank you Laura Nadeau -- those of you on Facebook can gawk at the various photos I've posted but sorry, they're not going up on here) and apparently I was instantly recognizable (heh) as were several old friends, including Steve, our resident class joker who is pictured here with everyone's name tag.

The evening really did fly by, since we were all surprised when the restaurant staff started setting up for the next day: it felt like 9:30 or 10:00 PM, but it was actually 11:20! Whoops. This did not prevent us all from hanging around, catching up, and taking pictures for another hour... well, actually, maybe it was two. I mean when my friend Jane dropped me off on her way home to Westchester, it was 2:00 AM!

The women generally looked as good as, or much better than, they did in high school. The men, not so much. LOTS of doctors. There were a few guys who looked exactly like maturely attractive versions of their high school selves, but they were the exception rather than the rule. Granted women have the benefit of makeup (even I, one of the most UN-girly of chicks resorted to the magic of facepaint) but there's just overall maintenance which also makes a big impact, if you see what I mean.

As you might be able to tell, even though I had a lot of fun, the evening did leave a weird emotional residue, because I was one of the few people there who had never been married, AND who was also child-free. Granted, I don't WANT children (though I love my niece's kids dearly and can't wait to see them again) but it did make me feel kinda freakish to be so different from the other 160+ people in the room who were either married, divorced, parents, or a combination of the above.

Normally, I'm fine with my life the way it is, and and pleased with my own progress, but perhaps being around people who knew you at your most awkward (14-17 are not years I'd ever want to revisit) -- even when you currently feel pretty confident -- has an insidious effect. Hmmm.... guess I'm going to have to go chew on this some more.

Of course, my view could be jaundiced by the fact that by the end of the night, my feet were in agony: I will NEVER again let people talk me into wearing superchic shoes if they're not something I previously bought. Jane and Laura N. decreed my black pumps were too dull and I didn't have anything else remotely appropriate (see: un-girliness, above) so Laura gave me a pair of black patent peep-toe shoes, which seemed fine when I tried them on at her place, but: my feet still hurt today. Ouch.

So now, I am going to go seek solace in my fluffy bed, while listening to New Chain, the new Small Black CD which I downloaded tonight from Amazon (I already sought solace in 5 WW points worth of chocolate earlier) and get up early for work tomorrow (hey, hope springs eternal!)

Happy anniversaries & RTBT

So exactly a year ago today, I finished my last radiation treatment. I think that deserves a big "Yippee!" Don't you?

Thinking about that milestone makes me happy, and puts a smile on my face.

And thanks to the wonderful / weird / wonderfully weird world of Facebook, my upcoming 25th high school reunion this Saturday (oh my, I am THAT old... even my mom was amazed: "really? it's been 25 years?" yes, Mom, it has) strikes me as lots of fun and not angst-inducing. (By the way, The Social Network [a/k/a The Facebook movie] is very engrossing, even if you never use FB. It's more a story about creation, litigation, and shades of grey, plus it has a script by Aaron Sorkin, music by Trent Reznor, and solid acting.)

Thanks to the initiative of my friend Jane, the urging of coworker Dennis, and my memories of never photographing so well as I did during Jane's wedding, I will be following along behind Jane on Saturday to see the fabulously talented Laura Nadeau. Alas, no superfancy hairstylist a la Jenny, but yes, I am actually making an effort to go all girlie. Shocking, I know, but that's what a major reunion can do to even the most un-girlie girl.

The dress is something I bought years ago but have never worn. Through all of the ups and downs of my health rollercoaster the past few years, it has now ironically turned out to be just about a perfect fit, or will be after I have my mom shorten the hem to just above the knee. Like it?

The red bits are the satin "belt" that comes with the dress. I even have a matching clutch (please, pick yourselves up off the floor -- hopefully you didn't give yourselves concussions when reading that).

Oh, and today, we moved my desk from out of the fishbowl lane at the office (right on the outer corner of the aisle near the pantry, where everyone could see what was on my monitor/screen and each scrap of paper on my desk) to a cubicle one aisle further in, and one row further away from the traffic flow. HALLELUJAH! (When I told my mom about the original fishbowl position, she burst out giggling. Yes, giggling. Now you KNOW it's a horrible spot in the cubicle farm if even my mom laughs, as she normally reminds me -- and I agree -- that I should be happy to have a job.)

Speaking of jobs, I need to go to bed, so I will leave you with this song for your amusement, courtesy of my weekend immersion in NPR: The Vaselines play "Sex with an X," on Studio 360. I find the lyrics vastly amusing.

Option Three

pedestal sink anyone?

So when confronted with the options of [1] laundry (and you all know how much I love that). [2] cleaning out and rearranging my kitchen (now that's it's cool enough to make cooking appealing again -- just bought some Japanese turnips at the farmers market near me), or [3] hiding from it all and taking a nap on a cool Sunday afternoon, guess which one sounds most appealing?

(looooong pause for a nap)

Actually, I think the need for napping (in addition to the 10 hours of sleep I had last night) is a combination of factors: (a) I'm either fighting off some wicked-nasty fall allergies [though possibly it's the stupid new office building and its new carpeting and construction dust], (b) a fall cold, or (c) I'm avoiding dealing with a whole bunch of emotional crap.

an early turner in Central Park

And while re-reading a post from a year ago, wherein I mention both Japanese turnips and my now ex, reminds me of just how many things can happen in a year, it doesn't make me think that I made the wrong call in breaking up with him. Quite the contrary (which doesn't mean I'm not still trying to wipe off the emotional residue, if you'll pardon the double negative).

Re-reading that post also made me realize: holy crap! I finished radiation treatments exactly one year ago this Tuesday, October 19th! I think tonight's belated celebration of my friend Marci's birthday at Kittichai will have to include a celebratory glass of wine to mark that occasion. (I was out of town for her actual birthday, and on Mondays only, they have a hot pot special, so since last Monday was Bloody Bloody Sexypants [also with Marci], tonight will be the foodfest. Hmmm... apparently Mondays nights will be full of droolworthy events, for one reason or another. Heh.)

Regardless of whatever the reason for the desire for lots of sleep, it is long past my bedtime now, and so I am just leaving you all with a photo from my friend Curt's happy place, Flora Grubb [top photo] and two shots from my hour long walk through Central Park yesterday (Saturday), for which my right knee is distinctly displeased with me today (Sunday).

All of these shots were taken with my trusty little LG VX11000 cellphone (a/k/a LG enV Touch) and then touched up on my Maxi-Squirrel (the Dell Vostro 1500 laptop), as opposed to my Mini-Squirrel (the Dell Mini 10 netbook).

Minor update

Flora Grubb is Curt's happy place ;)

No giganto suitcase of laundry to CT today, only a tote bag, as Mom has decreed that I will be staying over at her place tomorrow night, whereupon I will depart for work in the AM, going straight to a show Monday evening with my friend Marci: Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson (or as their ad says, "history just got all sexypants"). Thus, no large suitcase will be trundling along behind me for the next 72 hours.

I leave you all with more food porn (I could just taste to luscious amounts of butter in Piccino's ginger scone, a weakness of both Curt's and mine), and one of the plant sculptures (for lack of a better term) at Flora Grubb, which Curt not so jokingly calls his happy place -- and I can see why!

There were so many visually arresting tableaus that I wound up taking at least half a dozen shots (that I do not have time to post right now, since there's a Metro North train calling my name: major BBQ tonight with both the German and Chinese sides of the family, at the "big house" which my sister has returned to after the departure of her summer tenants).

Ciao!

Piccino's ginger scone rocks my world

Back home

Chez Squirrel may be messy (ummm... why do various friends keep asking if I'm going to guest star on an episode of Hoarders?) and lack any discernible / unified design aesthetic (staying in my friend Curt's truly fabulous loft in San Francisco has made me acutely aware of this -- one of his patio plants was so visually pleasing that I'm using it as my new cellphone wallpaper) but damn it is good to be home.

Cluttered and unchic though it is (one day, the cluttered part will be more under control -- I swear! really!) I love my home because -- if you'll excuse the somewhat circular logic -- it's mine (well, excluding the large chunk owned by the mortgage company). I mean, I also love all of the friends I visited in SF, whom I've known for 15 - 25 years each (holy... !!! when our young waiter heard that Curt and I had known each other for 25 years, he was flummoxed... probably because that's most of his lifespan!) but as I get older, no matter how much I enjoy zooming around to other parts of the world, I'm always happy to come home to my little lair.

This is especially true when United helpfully delays my flight home from SF for 2 hours, so my original arrival time of 12:45 AM became 2:45 AM Friday morning. Simply delightful. (On the bright side, the Orbitz cellphone alert really did work and notified me of that fun fact before I left for SFO.) So by the time I got home from JFK, it was 3:30 AM, making me grateful that I'd taken today off as a vacation day as well, since somehow the sleep you get from 4 - 11 AM is never as restful or restorative as the sleep you get from 12 - 7 AM.

Oh by the way, I made another pleasant discovery in the middle of the night at JFK: there is a taxi dispatcher on patrol 24/7 so he called up a fleet of cabs from the parking lot when a flock of bleary-eyed travelers trundled out to the taxi stand at three in the morning.

Since I am a firm believer in packing light (and I despise paying checked luggage fees) I walked briskly off the plane with my carry-on bag and was 4th in line for taxis. Yes, this was indeed all I packed for 7 days/6 nights in SF, with a pit stop on the way out to CA to quickly change in the ladies room from work attire to lounging-on-the-plane-for-6-hours attire.

Today (Friday) was an entirely unproductive day, where I did not step foot outside my door except to go downstairs, retrieve a week's worth of mail, and get waylaid by a highly talkative neighbor.

Eventually I escaped and hid at home again, watching my TiVo'd backlog of Hawaii 5-0 which I found to be disappointing. (By the way, this supersnarky recap of the pilot episode is howlingly funny, more entertaining than the actual show, and would do TWOP proud.) There are some intriguing hints of reverse discrimination (Hawaiians/Samoans vs. haoles) and occasionally Boomer/Kona does show up, but on the whole, eh. In short, I sense a slot opening up on my TiVo Season Pass Manager soon.

I suppose vegging out on The Green Monster is a fitting sendoff for the end of a mellow vacation week, but the laundry monster awaits me this weekend. Ergo, a large suitcase will be coming with me to CT on Saturday, since my sister kidnapped my mom Thursday night (it's the only way to get her out of the house) and my younger niece is back home from San Francisco on a business trip (yes, such irony, I know).

So since Sis kidnapped Mom by car, my mission is to escort her back to NYC on Sunday via Metro-North Railroad.

Oh, and my bathroom scale also decided to start working again and informed me that I have gained... er, maybe 4 lbs (yikes!) which is not surprising considering the majority of my activities in SF consisted of eating, napping, and getting driven around in Curt's cute little chocolate brown Mini as we shopped for furniture for his loft.

Walking his sweet Black Lab Simon, and the pugs Samson (black) and Sadie (fawn) was in no way sufficient exercise. And scratching their ears for aeons didn't burn up the calories either. ;) Hey, did I mention that he lives in the appropriately named neighborhood of Dogpatch?

Speaking of eating, my last evening was at Walzwerk where I shared my gargantuan portion of schnitzel and spatzle and green beans with Curt and one of his friends. Curt had the Jaeger schnitzel, which was tempting, but I was fixated on some regular schnitzel.

Oh, and we started the evening off with some potato pancakes. Of course.

And then on Thursday, we had lunch in Noe Valley at La Boulange where I succumbed to more goat cheese in an open-faced sandwich with portobello mushroom, roasted red peppers, and pesto, all accompanied by lemonade.

Come to think of it, it's a wonder I only gained 4 lbs!

And as you can see, the late night flight and the time change are really wrecking my body clock. Sigh.